Marcus Can Blog

Henry Hates Joyce

I think I shall never see

A sad poem about a parking lot made by Mr. Sy.

A parking lot whose chilly basement is pressed

Against Baguio’s once abundant pine tree crest.

A parking lot that looks at the mall all day;

And waits for cars of shoppers who pay.

A parking lot that covers people in Summer wear;

A nest of evicted bird species in its lair.

Upon its concrete levels Baguio’s cold has lain;

Insensitive of the dead forest’s pain.

Poems are made by fools like me

But only greedy men can uproot hundreds of pine tree.

***

Credit: Poem derived from ‘Trees’ by Joyce Kilmer.

Photo derived from http://www.freephotosbank.com

***

Mood: 1/10 Honks! (Monday and WE are home.)

Trying to collect himself and checking his location, Bani feels the unmistakable warmth of the bed. It’s still dark but he knows very well that he just woke up neither from a leather-clad, double deck bed nor from a Lazy Boy, both of which where he has perfected 5-minute naps in almost a year; more so in the recent weeks when his sleeping pattern has been abnormal. Well, more than just his sleeping pattern, actually.

Few minutes more of staring blankly at the Discovery program on the wall- mounted TV, he fumbles for his phone, placed alongside the TV’s and air conditioner’s remote control, and an empty liquor glass. “It’s 5 AM,” Bani silently reads from the blinding glare of his Nokia.

Bani soon realized that the cheap gin from his Black Saturday night cap has dried up where it spilled just barely a foot away from where his little boy, Raffy, lies. Just like last week, he has decided to return home from a planned sleepover with the family Bani has jokingly called ‘The Wilsons,’ Raffy being Dennis the Menace.

“Once again, he wants back,” the puzzled ‘Mrs. Wilson’ who lives just a couple of houses away, tells of Raffy who used to enjoy spending the night with them.

An hour more and Raffy remains static, his left thumb in his mouth, eyes partially shut. “His eyes look a lot like you,” he remembers the usual line his wife would tell him, referring to the partially opened eyes. Friends have told him it also means that he distrust people. Bani would agree.

Bani’s April Fools’ Day

Finally, after the feeding his almost 4-year old son, Bani gets his chance to have his own brunch. Eating another canned food, which has been his usual diet for about two months already, he glances at the calendar right across his table.

“So it’s now April Fools’ day,” Bani talks to himself, his son occupied with the Tom and Jerry show on TV. Life has been tough lately. Thoughts of cancelled weekend to a hot air balloon fiesta replaced by frequent trips to clinics and hospitals – with him behind the wheel and either his wife or kid waiting for their turn to see their respective doctors – race across his mind. He snaps back, he’s on his last spoonful of rice. Meal done, laundry next. Few more hours and Bani will be driving back to his in-laws where his wife’s been recovering.

It’s April Fools’ day and Bani is obviously not amused

How to lessen trips to the gas station

If only Krispy Kreme-fueled cars exist then a price hike won’t be such a burden.

Latest news has it that the possibility of a P60/liter unleaded gas price is high and we all know this is not good news. Not everyone knows, however, that there are more ways than one to beat this almost unstoppable fuel price hike. For example, parking the car longer than before – that is, use it less by carpooling or taking public transportation. Switching to more fuel-efficient cars such as newer models or the more expensive hybrids is also an option that other lucky individuals might have. Or lastly, and the most practical, is becoming more aware of things most of us used to ignore yet could actually affect how one can make fewer trips to the gas station. To achieve this last alternative, I now offer my top 5 tips to beat the fuel price hike:

The lesser pullback, the better. Whether one comes from a full stop or shifting gears from second to third, that feeling of being pulled back to the car seat during acceleration is a sign that the car (and driver) is exerting too much effort which translates to inefficient use of fuel. To avoid this, keep in mind the simple tip I’ve read years ago: imagine an egg is underneath the gas pedal – step on it as light possible as a centimeter-deep (or even less) depression of the gas pedal is already enough to pump gas necessary to keep the car rolling. Always remember that in daily commute, pedal to the metal isn’t the way to go.

Don’t get squeezed. The exact opposite of acceleration is deceleration but the effect is somehow similar which is demonstrated during braking. Any driver has likely experienced that feeling of being squeezed by the seatbelt (assuming he wears one) after applying the brake hard. Hard stoppage means “aborted” use of fuel and this is because gas that was pumped into the engine’s cylinder is supposed to make the car travel at a particular distance and by braking hard the dispensed fuel’s purpose is suppressed and wasted–unless the car has KERS or Kinetic Energy Recovery System such as one that is used by Formula 1 cars and hybrid automobiles.

Avoid leaning hard sideways. Drivers executing a turn or maneuvering curved roads use a combination of the brake and gas pedal to control the car so both tip numbers 1 and 2 above apply in this scenario. In curved roads, the driver will experience countering centripetal force by leaning sideways at an apex. The harder one leans to one side, the likelihood of fuel wastage is high. To achieve a smoother drive, anticipating the curve is important as well as knowing when to brake and to accelerate. In normal condition, brake (as gently as possible) before entry to the curve (and/or switch to lower gear for better traction during the turn) and then accelerate upon exit.

Gravity is your friend (and foe). Navigating through a downhill is an opportunity to save gas as this is when it is less stressful to the engine. Be aware, however, that turning the engine off (or even coasting) is a big no- no – for most cars, a turned off engine means zero vacuum which in turn disables the brake master and power steering. Go figure. Going up is of course more demanding to the car’s power source and it would be helpful if its load is lessened. If possible, turn the air conditioner off when driving uphill.

Too cold isn’t cool. Speaking of air conditioners, one should use this wisely and sparingly when driving. A car that is too cold uses more fuel than it is supposed to be and that is why thermostats control knobs are there20 – lower the temperature whenever possible. One should also read their car owner’s manual to learn how the fan vents settings work to optimize the temperature inside the car especially if only the driver is inside.

The tips I have listed here, by the way, are with the assumption that the car is in good condition and keep in mind never to compromise safety over savings: ensure that car is maintained regularly, brake hard if needed, and follow the speed limits all the time. Drive safely everyone!

***

Mood: 6/10 Honks! (Writing to relieve the 2nd week of anxiety. Wifey still not well.)

Anna Banana (part II)

Well, guess what? Barely a month after I posted my last blog about mama Berns who conquered the airwaves just to promote her son’s Anna Banana song on youtube.com, her relentless effort somehow paid off. As of this writing, the then lousy homemade video took off from just around 2,000 to almost a million hits.

But this is not because the video reached viral status on its own but it is because some crazy PLDT marketing guys took the risk of using Anna Banana as a radio ad to capture more potential PLDT myDSL subscribers. And while I can’t help but loathe whoever it was behind this gimmick (and pity other unsuspecting listeners who got “hypnotized” to check out this anna bananaDSL video) I on the other hand agree that this is such a genius move. It is one of those effective campaign that was used by people behind American Idol’s William Hung, our very own Manny Pacquiao, and the versatile and beautiful actress Anne Curtis Smith. All these personalities became successful record artists despite their lack of singing skills.

We also know by now that both mama Berns and her son possess star features as well. It is just matter of time when these mother-and-son team would be seen on TV waving and smiling and getting more than the attention that they once wish they will achieve when mama Berns dialed her way to different FM stations and radio programs all the day long (probably with the goal of just getting youtube views). But of course I am still among those who believe that this boy behind the Anna Banana song will grow up hating himself for this youtube video but at the very least he would have one hell of a story to tell to everyone about the day when his original composition (and his mother’s persistence) got popular more than they expected it to be.

***

Grabbing the opportunity to write while my in-laws and their kids are here to visit us especially wifey who is still recovering from a bad infection.

***

Mood: 2/10 Honks! (Pizza and pasta and coke. Typical Sunday diet. Will regret it tomorrow.)

Do you know someone like mommy Berns?

My drive home this morning was quite disappointing. Mommy Berns did not call Mo Twister’s radio show. So who on earth is this mommy Berns anyway? Well, she was all over my other favorite radio stations the day before. She started at first as one regular caller who, just like the others, would call to share their piece of mind on the topic of the day or someone who would make a song request and then hang up. But mommy Berns did more than that – on different radio stations, on several occasions.

I first heard the seemingly friendly voice on Wave 89.1 FM’s morning show. I did not catch the exact conversation between her and the DJs but I soon realized that she is not a regular listener after she requested an unfamiliar song title and one that does not belong to the station’s New Wave Wednesday’s playlist. The discussion became more odd when mommy Berns said that the song is actually a composition of his son and that she would like to promote its location on YouTube.com. It was a personal plug that the unsuspecting DJs had to entertain as if to shorten their (and mine) agony from one weird caller.

Evening came and once again I was back behind the wheel on my way to work and my car radio still on the same frequency, same music genre. Everything on the program that night seems the same, including a surprise caller – mommy Berns. Along with the new set of DJs in a different radio show came the same caller with the same purpose – to place a shameless plug and this time she has become more spontaneous which made me wonder if she has been talking about the same thing all day. My hunch was right.

On schedule, I tuned in to another station to catch up on Jam 88.3’s The Daily Stew with Roanna where I get my daily fix of alternative music (and interesting trivia and topics from its host @roannaruiz). As I maneuver my way through crazy traffic, a voice came out of the car stereo which almost made me freak out and sideswipe counter-flowing motorcycle riders – it could’ve been the perfect excuse.

It was mommy Berns.

She’s talking to Roanna Ruiz. She’s talking about the same stuff.

“My goodness. Ti abi. WTH. Let the Mayans be right, now!”

For the third time that day, on my last stretch before I reach work, I heard the ever familiar and annoying spiel again, “…it’s composed by my son…it’s on YouTube.com…please watch annabananadsl.” Wow.

Thankfully, I arrived at work in one piece – I also checked the car carpet and I didn’t see any of my dinner on it – but with several thoughts racing in my mind. Have we been, consciously or unconsciously, a mommy Berns who is ever proud of our own child(ren) and so willing to talk about them all day (and annoy people in the process)? Do we know someone like mommy Berns?

Few minutes later, I realized I was walking past the production’s door….

***

I checked out AnnaBananaDSL and so far mommy Berns’ efforts got around 1,700 views as of today.

***

Erratum: I just discovered on Twitter that it’s Mama Berns
and not mommy Berns.

***

Mood: 3/10 Honks! (Marcus still coughing but taking meds. Few more days before the balloon fest.)

Nearing Honda hybrid consumption

I read this news about a woman in California winning a case against the manufacturer of Honda Hybrid after her Japanese hybrid vehicle failed to meet the expected gas consumption of 21 kilometers per liter (50 mpg). According to the news Heather Peters received more than USD9,000 from Honda or around 400,000 in Philippine peso which is enough to buy a used Honda City like what I am currently using.

This article is so timely as I have just finished computing my January consumption and believe or not, our Honda City 2008 achieved the highest gas mileage I have ever recorded since I started the conscious effort to take note of my gas expenses and driving habits25. The first two months after August, I was able to prove that I am among the average Honda City owners who is at the 13 km/liter range but sooner or later I began getting favorable gas consumption. In October I reached 17 km/liter.

December 2011 and January 2012 data, however, are more encouraging. Despite the Christmas holiday traffic, my less aggressive driving style resulted to 18 km/liter — more distance covered with lesser trip to the gas station — which is just 3 kilometers short of the disputed Honda Hybrid figures. Yes, I know, the 50 mpg promised by Honda is for city driving which “if true” is about double of what non-hybrid cars (like mine) can achieve but apparently since there is a winner in this case against Honda, it just shows that there is still some sort of flaw in this expensive vehicle’s system (unless Honda got some incompetent lawyers like those in CJ Corona trial. Oppps, different topic. Sorry, cant’ help it).

And so with this latest milestone, I now face the challenge of breaking the new kilometer per liter record and perhaps prompt more Honda Hybrid owners to file more complaints once they read that another guy with a lowly Honda City somewhere in the Philippines comes close to the gas consumption they’re supposed to have with their brand new Honda Hybrid.

***

Trivia: In Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, one will spot a Honda City 2008 car swerving while Ethan Hunt gives change in the midst of a sand storm. This is just a few of the interesting scenes in this movie. Yes, just a few. Disappointing film.

***

Mood: 3/10 Honks! (Wifey and kiddo left me. They’ll be back. Hahaha.)

Are we doing the right green thing?

Got another chance to have our parenting day off yesterday and so other than keeping our son entertained inside the car, wifey and I got the chance to discuss topics that does not include the repetition of the words “behave”,”good manners”, “Marcus stop!”, or “Marcus please!!!” This time we got to dis- cuss mature things. Green things.

Driving from Festival Mall, wifey commented that it has indeed become the policy of this mall in Alabang not to use plastic as packaging for any (or most) product from any of its stores. And that’s actually a good thing, right? Well, sort of. While it seems cool to get away with the use of the material that most people consider bad for the environment, we however, can’t help but wonder the impact of the continuous use of paper bags.

Whenever this topic comes I can’t help but recall the perfect line, “Choke the fish or kill the trees.” Yes, we all know for a fact that paper is already being recycled but I am quite sure that this is still not 100% and so the question how much trees are being cut down to fill in the demand for this so-called green packaging always lingers.

***

On this same day, I saw one of my Facebook friends post this striking image on her wall:

(Image from Facebook) Still in for a sushi?

***

I got an email from another friend and it talks about amusing facts that we used to do back in the days. Incidentally, these are also about the now popular “Green” word.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, pop bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles repeatedly. So they really were recycled. But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.

***

Mood: 2/10 Honks! (Time for a pandesal! Enjoy your Sunday everyone!)

I saw dead people

I think this cannot wait November when normally stories about the para- normal can be heard all over. I have been holding on to telling all about these weird personal experiences and today must be the right time. Having worked in a semiconductor manufacturing company for several years, I cannot be considered as someone new to the world of graveyard shift. I’ve been there, done that but never in my entire life working during these unholy hours have I felt something so eerie.

The latest one happened just this week. Everything seems to be SSDD at work when past 1 AM, out of my peripheral vision I noticed someone standing nearby our workstation. I glanced the second time to check and yes I really think that I saw a bulky and dark figure but some remaining skepticism I have had me brush the whole thing off right after telling my colleague about it. The next night, however, I learned that another one from our group saw the same thing on the same exact spot. Ti abi.

But that is not the first time when I felt strange things happening around me. Believe it or not, other freaky experiences occurred even during broad daylight.

Several months ago, we were required to render overtimes and for a week I personally picked the post-shift slot to avoid driving through rush hour traffic. For two hours after 9 in the morning, I’d be left alone inside the totally silent production floor – no incoming calls, no chatty agents. During these times, it’s just me, the hum of my CPU, and the tapping sound of my keyboard. But not all the time.

There have been a number of instances when I have heard the distinct sound of someone dragging his (or her) shoes on the carpeted floor near the area where I work. I have even witnessed an ergonomic chair swivel as if an invisible agent just left in a hurry.

In another occasion, I was alone in the restroom brushing my teeth when all of a sudden the faucet right beside me dispensed water twice in a row like someone just passed their hands in front of the fixture’s electronic sensor.

On top of all these, ghostly manifestations can also be felt regularly in the only area in our office that remains dim most of the day – our sleeping quarters. In fact, I think I have gotten used to the creepy sensation that I can now stay there even while all alone occupying one of the rather comfortable Lazy Boy recliners. Or maybe it is my usual sleepy state during my lunch and end of shift periods that make me so willing to share space with whoever is there – visible or invisible.

So right now, while I have not really seen dead people (yet), I am beginning to think that there are other beings beyond our understanding that co-exist with us – at work, at home, or even inside our car while we drive. I know such thought of having them around may be freaky, however rather than losing our sanity thinking about it, we should start accepting the fact and open our eyes on the purpose of their existence. Besides, at the very least, won’t we live a boring life without these ghost stories? Do you have one?

***

Mood: 2/10 Honks! (The cable TV god granted my request. It’s now just me, wifey and HBO. Marcus is out for a sleepover.)

To SOPA OR not to SOPA

These four intriguing letters seem to be the recent buzz in social media and the internet as a whole but to be honest, other than knowing that SOPA stands for Stop Online Piracy Act, I haven’t had that much knowledge why it’s getting the attention of more and more people. From my half-baked understanding SOPA is meant to put some sort of control over online content and exchanges and the proliferation of materials that some authorities think violate the intellectual property rights of people who claim ownership on things such as music, software, and books just to name a few. And based on this alone, as expected of me, I may be leaning on the side of those who support SOPA. So far, I’m yet to see someone on my Twitter timeline who has the same opinion as mine – other than the very people who want this implemented.

Today, Wikipedia.org joins the growing number of people who are against SOPA (and the complementary PIPA or Protect Intellectual Property Act bill) – in a couple of hours it will black out its whole website to protest SOPA. Recently, there have been strong calls for subscribers to pull out of GoDaddy.com (which incidentally is my domain host) after it declared its support to the controversial bills.

So where do I stand in this issue? Anyone who has been lurking/reading my blog posts probably knows the answer. I am anti-piracy. I try hard to be one even if it has costs me to miss on learning new software, catching up on new movies, and possessing a copy of the latest hit music. And yes, my advocacy and commitment to this has made people, especially my friends, scratch their heads in disbelief.

But perhaps people who are against SOPA and PIPA have a valid reason behind their outcry and so I think I will have to step back a bit and learn what these are before I declare a hundred percent support to whatever I believe in (or will believe in next). In the next few weeks I’ll try to absorb as much knowledge as possible and see if there’s a rational explanation why one will have the right to use (AND SHARE) something that is not his (or hers) or something that he did not pay for. Let’s see.

***

Mood: 4/10 Honks! (I think I’m having fever. Good reason for grammatical errors.)