Category: Parenting

Should We Stop Shooting Our Children?

Vanity is my favorite sin. – Devil’s Advocate

Have you ever heard of KGOY or Kids Grow Older Younger? And do you know one of its causes? According to what the NYTimes.com article Why We Should Take Fewer Pictures of Our Children implies, the digital camera is to blame and I can’t help but agree. Shooting photos of kids has escalated from what was once just a fad to a regular sight. We see this almost every day, everywhere, any time: kids striking a pose in front of the camera whether in front of their parents or done on their own. It would have been fine if these are innocent poses but there are already those we see masquerading, unknowingly I hope, sensual or offensive gestures obviously influenced by what they see on TV or in print materials such as the glossy magazines.

Thanks (but not thanks) to the availability and affordability of gadgets, this addiction of kids to the camera in any form, whether through a mobile phone, a point-and-shoot, or an entry-level DSLR, became very irresistible. Plus the lure of social media, such as facebook and Twitter, or photo-sharing applications such Instagram and Flickr have made taking and posting pictures online a must-do activity for both parents and kids.

So is this frequent photoshoot of your kids destructive in the long run? Well, in my opinion, it depends – though for sure it’s annoying to some of your facebook friends if you keep on flooding their timeline especially with not so attractive pictures. For some, it’s one way of relieving the longing of their love ones who are away from them – like lolos and lolas. And for others, it could be another medium of boosting their child’s confidence. But whatever the reasons are, I acknowledge that it is about time we realize that we need to do everything in moderation including exposure of our kids to the camera. Let us make them live the moments without any worries if they appear good in the pictures of not. Let them be just kids, not little wannabee models.

***

Our own kid is actually among these little models. I still remember the night when we passed by Roxas Boulevard in Manila and we noticed Marcus, who was just barely 2-year old then, staying still and smiling at every headlight, and even lamp posts, outside our taxi cab. We soon realized that it must be because he thinks these bright lights are camera flashes that he has gotten used to seeing as we have been pointing a camera at him since he was still a small baby. His fascination with these flashes continued until about a few months after that but nowadays it has stopped. He has, however, transitioned to doing the check-chin pose and some other weird facial expressions. Ti abi.

***

Mood: 5/10 Honks! (Going to a car dealer to have our car’s headlight checked.)

“…and those who own BMWs.” (I was telling wifey about the three people in this world: the poor, the rich, and the contented when a shiny brand new bimmer passed by. Talk about distraction during a financial discussion.)

***

This is my first post in Status format.

Four-year-old Boy in the Backseat

I booked my sister’s family online for their flight to Bacolod and the mistake I made when I finalized the transaction with the wrong departure date requires me to go to PAL’s ticket office in NAIA Terminal 2 to get the revised ticket and pay for the additional fee in the process. But rather than fret about that costly mistake, which I did while sleepy thus missing the most important detail, I considered it as a blessing in disguise. What I initially plan to do by taking public transport alone and recovering my lack of sleep inside a cozy bus and taxi to the airport office, became a trip with me behind the wheel and wifey and Marcus tagging along. We haven’t been together in a mall for a leisurely visit so this one made a trip to MOA justifiable.

During the 30-kilometer trip, Marcus has been talking non-stop, asking repetitive questions. “Where’s the airport?”, “Are we near the airport?”, “Where is MOA?”, “Why are we turning here, not there?” had me and wifey exchange turns to give the same answer. However, other than these are-we-there-yet inquiries, there were those that we don’t know where to get the answers from and there was one that had both of us skipped a heartbeat. We’ve been preparing for the question and I really once thought that I will be ready when that time comes but yesterday I realized that I am not. What a four year-old boy can do. A special four year-old boy in the backseat.

***

The reason I got the idea of taking a side trip to MOA is because Marcus had told his mother that he wants to go biking again in MOA and the last time we did this was more than two years ago when we participated in a fun run for a cause. So despite doing it in the evening, and with me restraining myself not to grab something alcoholic from one of the nearby bars and restos and which I know that wifey has another idea of a night out, Marcus successfully got his wish and pedaled his way in the midst of the crowd enjoying the colorful night in SM by the Bay.

***

Marcus tweets

Starting today, I will use #4yointhebackseat to tweet about things (hopefully amusing ones) Marcus will say (or have said) while in the backseat. I once started #nurserylog which are about his school days but unfortunately I cannot retrieve the first ones. I am now wondering if there’s some application I can use to import a particular hash tag to my blog and to archive it as well.

***

Mood: 3/10 Honks (Anxiety coming back.)

Poem for Spongebob Squarepants

We used to hate you and your cartoon show,

Until Marcus made us fall in love with your color, yellow.

He has stuffed toys, yes, more than one,

But he always looks for you more often than anyone.

You’ve made him laugh when something, or someone, made him cry

We know, therefore, he wishes that you’d never die.

Happy 26th Birthday,Yaya.

***

Trivia: Our son, even until now, calls Spongebob Squarepants as Yaya (that’s nanny in Filipino)–not because he is always with him like any yaya should be but it’s from the yeah, yeah, yeah expression Marcus hears from this cartoon character.

***Mood: 2/10 Honks! (Thanks Berocca!)

He Created Restless Children Too

“It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real
father.” – Pope John XXIII

How many times have we been in the church to hear mass and expecting it to be one that so solemn, it relieves us of the past week’s stresses and readies us spiritually for the next? But how many times have we been distracted by kids who have decided to make the pews and the altar their playground and tried testing whether they can generate an echo in every corner of the church? Much worse, how many times have we been the parents of these restless Sunday kids?

To answer the last question, it has been happening to us a lot lately. Thanks to our ever active son, whether he is sick or not, Marcus.

Because like karma proving itself true, I now realize that my past encounters with unruly kids and how I have secretly cursed them and/or their parents while I try to fake a smile and maintain composure as I do my Sunday prayers have finally caught up on me. I seem to now slowly accept the fact that even my most fervent prayers may not work to pacify one restless son. I am now among the helpless parents who can’t do anything but pray for divine intervention – and one that is less likely to happen at all. I think God doesn’t touch uber active children but rather he makes parents ponder what was done and what still needs to be done to produce one well-mannered kid inside the church (or any other place).

So please if ever you get to be one lucky church person, because you are
either single or married but still childless and whose only problem is if your
message to the mighty heavens gets across, please understand that if you
are annoyed by kids running uncontrollably around you, bear in mind that someone among those bowed head somewhere is a helpless and embarrassed parent of that kid and ever wondering if indeed God created restless children, too.

***

Mood: 2/10 Honks! (Dear God, Thanks for Sundays.)

Marcus’ 1st roller coaster ride

Marcus has started showing his interest in forms of entertainment we thought at first that he’s not yet ready to do. In one of our mall trips, we tried the 4D ride in SM Dasmarinas with some doubt that he might quit midway but instead the three of us came out with him asking for more and with me scratching my head if I’m ready to transition from 5-peso arcade rides to a 100-peso simulator that lasts just more than ten minutes.

“This isn’t Oggy’s roller coaster yet, right?”

And couple of weekends ago, boredom strikes again so we set out to Festival Mall’s X-site. Watching Marcus wide-eyed every time the yellow roller coaster cars zoom overhead, we headed to the ticket booth to check if he meets the height requirement. After confirming that he has hit (barely) the 36-inch mark I got tickets for two and wasted no time going to the X-Treme Coaster’s entrance all the while anxious how his first roller coaster ride will end up. Well, after two rounds barreling through the course, Marcus looked perfectly fine, obviously enjoyed the ride. I was one proud dad that day.

***

Frankly, I didn’t have any idea that time what the youngest age is that is allowed in a roller coaster and so I became hesitant to post about this especially after seeing the pediatrician’s reaction when we told her about Marcus’ latest adventure. It made me thought I’m like one irresponsible parent until I saw this forum: Youngest age you’ve brought a baby/child on a “roller coaster” ? Well, next roller coaster please.

 

***

Mood: 5/10 Honks! (Marcus’ first pet hamster, bunny, passed away last night. It was less than a year old.)

Good Job, Lord!

”Be warned, I get what I want. I think so.”

Among the things that every parent should know is that kids-say-and-do-the-darndest-things moments will happen anytime and anywhere. Trying be good role models, we have been telling our son that we have to give thanks to God all the time for ALL the blessings that we continue to receive. However, just this week, my wife finds it both funny and surprising when she realized that we need to do better in explaining to our 4-year old boy how to give compliments to whomever it is addressed – what may be appropriate for humans may not sound proper for the divine – because after intently watching her prepare and finally finish a gelatin dessert, Marcus excitedly blurted out, “Good job, Lord!”

***

Another similar instance happened last night. Aware that he has just been suspended from holding any of our cellphones due to violations of peeling off a protective laminate and repeatedly showing impatience during downloading of applications (yes, he can already do this), he secretly made a deal with his mother after seeing that I have gone to sleep. “Mom, Oggy,” he pleads for his favorite Oggy and the Cockroaches show but immediately adds, “hina lang (will tone down volume), Daddy (will) hear.” My wife eventually gave the nod and was so amused when she learned that our son is making sure that he remains stealthy when she heard an obvious suppressed laughter in one corner of the bed where Marcus is watching the cartoon show on YouTube.com. What have we done, Lord?

***

Mood: 2/10 Honks! (Cooked breakfast for wifey, Marcus still sleeping.)

Do you know someone like mommy Berns?

 

My drive home this morning was quite disappointing. Mommy Berns did not call Mo Twister’s radio show. So who on earth is this mommy Berns anyway? Well, she was all over my other favorite radio stations the day before. She started at first as one regular caller who, just like the others, would call to share their piece of mind on the topic of the day or someone who would make a song request and then hang up. But mommy Berns did more than that – on different radio stations, on several occasions.

I first heard the seemingly friendly voice on Wave 89.1 FM’s morning show. I did not catch the exact conversation between her and the DJs but I soon realized that she is not a regular listener after she requested an unfamiliar song title and one that does not belong to the station’s New Wave Wednesday’s playlist. The discussion became more odd when mommy Berns said that the song is actually a composition of his son and that she would like to promote its location on YouTube.com. It was a personal plug that the unsuspecting DJs had to entertain as if to shorten their (and mine) agony from one weird caller.

Evening came and once again I was back behind the wheel on my way to work and my car radio still on the same frequency, same music genre. Everything on the program that night seems the same, including a surprise caller – mommy Berns. Along with the new set of DJs in a different radio show came the same caller with the same purpose – to place a shameless plug and this time she has become more spontaneous which made me wonder if she has been talking about the same thing all day. My hunch was right.

On schedule, I tuned in to another station to catch up on Jam 88.3’s The Daily Stew with Roanna where I get my daily fix of alternative music (and interesting trivia and topics from its host @roannaruiz). As I maneuver my way through crazy traffic, a voice came out of the car stereo which almost made me freak out and sideswipe counter-flowing motorcycle riders – it could’ve been the perfect excuse.

It was mommy Berns.

She’s talking to Roanna Ruiz. She’s talking about the same stuff.

“My goodness. Ti abi. WTH. Let the Mayans be right, now!”

For the third time that day, on my last stretch before I reach work, I heard the ever familiar and annoying spiel again, “…it’s composed by my son…it’s on YouTube.com…please watch annabananadsl.” Wow.

Thankfully, I arrived at work in one piece – I also checked the car carpet and I didn’t see any of my dinner on it – but with several thoughts racing in my mind. Have we been, consciously or unconsciously, a mommy Berns who is ever proud of our own child(ren) and so willing to talk about them all day (and annoy people in the process)? Do we know someone like mommy Berns?

Few minutes later, I realized I was walking past the production’s door….

***

I checked out AnnaBananaDSL and so far mommy Berns’ efforts got around 1,700 views as of today.

***

Erratum: I just discovered on Twitter that it’s Mama Berns
and not mommy Berns.

***

Mood: 3/10 Honks! (Marcus still coughing but taking meds. Few more days before the balloon fest.)


Knock, knock!

Contrary to my goal, again, I’m failing in my goal to fill my need to write more posts and Marcus has a lot to do with it. For wifey and me, parenting lately has been a lot crazier than before. Don’t get me wrong, despite nerve-wracking moments with an active 3-year old we seem to spend more enjoyable times as we witness his rapid development and antics that come along with it. Nowadays, our one and only boy….

…has become more articulate than ever. Other than saying our names clearer, he can now say Manny Pacquiao.

…can recognize Toyotas and Pajeros and other car brands. He can just spot Hondas before. (When he was more than a year old, he screams whenever he sees wheels.)

…has transitioned from nursery rhymes to more mature music. He used to just like GTO from the movie RV and lately he surprised me when he showed to me that he can dance to Top Gun’s Danger Zone and Mighty Wings. He also goes ballistic when he hears Party Anthem and Moves Like Jagger.

…continues to impress us with his pace in learning to use cellphones, computers and home theater. (Thankfully, he has not figured out why his favorite cartoon show doesn’t appear however he press the TV’s channel button. Yes, I locked it.)

…seems to start understanding that littering trash will result to flood and that whenever he sees some of the Sendong video footage, he’ll look for his clothes and tell us to donate them. (This one makes us feel so proud.)

Well, this is just a knock knock and I have to cut this short because sooner or later, he’ll be up and ready again to keep our day busy…and stressful…and fun. Parenting is exciting, isn’t it?

***

Mood: 3/10 Honks! (Thankful to be home.)