When a Macklemore Song Becomes a Sad Song

…Can we go back, this is the moment

Tonight is the night, we’ll fight ’til it’s over

So we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us

Like the ceiling can’t hold us…

These are a couple of lyrics from the Macklemore song Can’t Hold Us and it is one of Marcus’ favorite songs. It played when I was warming up in the gym yesterday. It was supposed to pump up my mind and body as it always does. It is just like its effect on Marcus every time he views this one YouTube montage of Halo. He goes crazy, he dances. Yes, it is a song that he introduced to me and I have come to loved as well.

Saturday’s gym session, however, was different.  I was pedaling while I was holding back from crying. I could have let go of my tears and made it mix with my own sweat which are starting to drip on the rubber floor but I couldn’t. I’m in a gym. Men do not cry inside the gym unless maybe they got hit by a dumbbell.

The song eventually ended and I was able to move on. It was so far the saddest stationary bike warm up I ever had but I know that I will have the same feeling again in the next days if I hear the same song again. It would make me imagine the Halo characters in that montage where all are mighty and brave, all are strong and muscular, everyone fast and invincible. Marcus likes them. Marcus wants to be one of them.

Last Friday we learned that this will not happen.

Our second visit to another doctor this week made us discover that Marcus all along has Duchenne muscular dystrophy (DMD). This condition is a genetic problem that results to progressive muscular wasting that causes all the muscles—the heart included—to fail at some point. What got us so devastated was when the doctor confirmed what I have read from the article that wifey posted on my facebook private message—DMD does not have any cure for now.

Muscles of people with DMD weaken over time. We now understand why Marcus at age seven still cannot run just like the other kids. He cannot climb stairs. He cannot stand up on his own. He falls for no reason. And it is not his fault—never was. I now feel guilty expecting too much from him and forcing him to run just so he becomes the hero he wants to be. I have required him to run inside the house every time his Xbox timer expires. We once all thought that he just lacks exercise.

Our awareness to his condition hit us. Suddenly everything changed–our plans, our focus, our dreams, our faith. I know things will be different in the next days, in the next years. But DMD can’t hold us. Should not hold us.

…Return of the Mack, get up!

What it is, what it does, what it is, what it isn’t.

Looking for a better way to get up out of bed…

 

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Lyrics from azlyrics.com

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Mood: 9/10 Honks! (Lord, make us strong.)

The Spongebob Dilemma

Uh oh. A week to go and kiddo will celebrate his birthday and its theme is SpongeBob. At age seven he has started to hate past favorites. He has bid goodbye to Mickey Mouse, Dibo, Barney (this I welcome), Ben 10, and Jollibee. Almost everything he used to be so fond of. But SpongeBob stays–Oggy and Lego too.

I now wonder how he will react once he learns that Jollibee now has free SpongeBob movie figures (we watched The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water on Black Saturday) for their kiddie meals. Will he ask us to cross the road, grab kiddie meals and have it served during his birthday party at McDonald’s? We’ll know.

Check out @Jollibee’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/Jollibee/status/585659675640782851?s=09

From Jollibee’s Twitter.

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Mood: 2/10 Honks! (One cold pan de sal at a time.)

Coloring Books for Adults, Anyone?

Crayons, Coloring Book for Adults
Image from Flickr Creative Commons

 

 

Years ago wifey purchased something I never knew would be of interest to someone her age.  It was a box of crayons and a coloring book along with it.  What I find funny is that it was way back when we do not have Marcus around yet.  Knowing wifey as someone who seldom spends on anything unnecessary—either by choice or not—I let her grab her art stuffs because for an employed adult these are cheap anyway. While at some point in my elementary days I wished that I also possess a box of crayons with built-in sharpeners, I have let go of the thought as soon our art subject is over. But for wifey, age didn’t matter.

I do not consider my wife as someone who is really into arts so I was thinking all along that she would soon ditch the crayons as soon as we reach home that day.  I was wrong.  She did manage to spend time coloring the book as if it will be graded by a teacher. In my opinion, she rendered the colors well.  She also made sure that her crayons are all in proper order after each use and that anything that starts to dull gets sharpened. Her crayons remained almost pristine until the day someone came into the picture.

Our kid eventually took over wifey’s 48-color Crayola. And I know that she had some reservations giving the crayons due to the fact that she knows the fate of Marcus’ basic crayon set. Some got stripped of labels, some broken in half, and some lost in the Kindergarten battlefield. Some made their mark on our wall—thanks to baby oil, these got erased easily.

Today The Guardian released an article Colouring books for adults top Amazon bestseller list and it made me discover that wifey isn’t alone.  Surprisingly, there are also others who are into crayons and coloring books regardless of age. (Whew!)  Now I wonder if it is a good time to buy a Marvel coloring book. Nope, not for wifey. Not for Marcus either. You know, it does not hurt to start all over again.

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Mood: 4/10 Honks! (Two days away and I miss them.)

The Most Travelled Lonely Roads

Father and son with the only possessions they have. (Image from the web.)

I feel awkwardly free. That’s how I would describe the recently concluded weekend. It was unlike the last ones when wifey and I were pretty occupied due to her online contract that needs extra hands to finish. Eventually, we were able to get it done—pat on the back to us—and the lull after two weeks of being in front of the computer majority of our time made me feel as if I am missing something big. Good thing the DVDs filled the gap in no time.

One of the DVDs we watched together is The Road. Released in 2009, the film is about a post-apocalyptic story featuring the dark adventure of a man (Viggo Mortensen) and his son (Kodi Smith-McPhee) as they try to make their way out of their place, so torn that even nature and wildlife have ceased to exist, to find safer haven assuming there is one somewhere.

Both father and son had to survive not just biting cold but several other threatening factors. The diminishing availability of fuel and of food—thus the rampant cannibalism—left them no choice but to stray away until they have found one. From time to time they had to face off with different people but who have the same thing in mind—survive at all cost.

The Road is a depressing movie that I regret watching it on a sunny Sunday morning. I wouldn’t call it entertaining at all. But if there is one good thing about it, it is the chance to reflect which is so apt for a Palm Sunday.

Though fiction by nature, the plot of the movie is definitely not. Anyone does not need to look farther into the future to see the struggles of millions of real fathers and sons—mothers and daughters included—who roam around the streets daily to find their next temporary shelter and scavenge for leftovers and up the extent of having to defend—kill if and when needed—whatever little possessions they have.

The Road is an eye opener. It delivers a strong message that should make everyone understand and empathize with our homeless brothers. What would you do if your child craves for warmth? What if he begs for food? How would you answer if he asks, “Are we still the good guys?” Yes, think about it real good because as of this very moment while you are reading this in the comforts of your own home many out there are making their way once more to the most travelled lonely roads.

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Mood: 2/10 Honks! (We are getting new tires, thanks to that online contract.)

What I Learned From American Sniper

The American Sniper
Image from the web.

My second attempt to watch the American Sniper was a success.  Last weekend it did not happen as we got stopped right at the ticket booth. By ‘we’ I mean that I was with my son who felt equally disappointed when he learned that he is not allowed yet to watch the R13 rated movie. He’s got seven more years before he gets past the cinema’s turnstile. Yesterday, I was with wifey, just the two of us.

The movie served more of a visual treat of what transpired in the American Sniper book that I finished reading just recently. Having read the additional entry on the ebook regarding the making of the movie, also prepared me to expect that some parts of the story where tweaked and that other events did not make it to its film version. I would have appreciate, however, if the movie included the part where the enemy made use of beach balloons to cross the marsh and how Chris Kyle ended the terrorists’ creative strategy. Several other accounts written by Chris Kyle himself would have made the movie a lot more entertaining.

Yet American Sniper isn’t just about entertainment. Given the gruesome nature of this Clint Eastwood movie as adapted from the true story of how one man was able to achieve 160 official kills in his four tours in Iraq, there are looming ethical questions that surround it. For one, does it justify to shoot anyone who appears to satisfy a sniper’s rules of engagement? It’s a tough question that only snipers themselves will be able to answer with a straight face. But believe it or not, anyone one could learn beyond just shooting the bad guys. One does not need to be enlisted in the Armed Forces to appreciate the lessons that the American Sniper imparts. (Cited below are excerpts from the ebook).

“Comms and navigation are a lot further down the list for most SEALs. The worst school you can send someone to has to do with intel. People hate that. They joined the SEALs to kick down doors, not to gather intelligence. But everyone has a role.” (p. 327)

  1. Everyone has a role and someone’s got to do the dirty job. Sometimes we begin to be de-motivated having to continue doing our present role. We also hate being re-assigned—changes that will get us out of our comfort zones. In any case, resentment usually sets in and we question our role in an organization. By looking at the bigger picture, we should be able to identify where we stand and realize our contribution.

“I SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL KEEP SAYING IT: I’M NOT THE BEST shot in the world. There were plenty of guys better than me, even in that class. I only graduated about middle of the pack…You need skill to be a sniper, but you also need opportunity. And luck. (P. 108)

  1. It is a fact, the real world is a different story. There are so many factors that would change what we learned in school. To excel in academics is one thing, to find that opportunity and luck to be able excel in real life is another. Acquire the skills so that when opportunity presents itself, you are fit and ready.

“WE HAD A LONG BREAK FROM WAR, BUT WE WERE BUSY THE whole time, retraining and, in some cases, learning new skills.” (p. 206)

  1. Regular training is the key to avoid stagnancy. Employees who belong to an organization who keeps on training everyone to hone their skills are the lucky ones (cross-training is also a known method to motivate employees). Doing something over and over again until the correct routine becomes second nature will ensure that job expectations are effectively and efficiently delivered and as a result customer satisfaction is achieved.

“Getting through BUD/ S and being a SEAL is more about mental toughness than anything else. Being stubborn and refusing to give in is the key to success. Somehow I’d stumbled onto the winning formula.” (p. 29)

  1. Failures will happen and we will be tested based on our attitude towards. Anyone with the tenacity to face trials head on will always come out as the clear winner.

“I wanted to do my thing, which was being a sniper…I wanted to be the best at what I wanted to do. I think a lot of people had trouble with that attitude. They naturally thought that anyone who was good should have a very high rank.” (p. 354)

5. Love your job and rewards will eventually come along the way. Enjoying the job is very important. If it is fun, it is worth doing. This is where I would use “note to self.”

These are just a few of the lessons from American Sniper. Read the book and learn that heroes behind the crosshair are also humans. Plain humans just like us who at the end of the day continue to ask themselves, “Was it all worth it?”

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In memory of our own fallen heroes. The SAF 44.

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The pizzas are the bad guys, oatmeal grains are the SEALs. There’s now CQB somewhere inside me. (After the movie, wifey and I finally indulged ourselves with S&R’s pizza. I was stuffed.)

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Mood: 2/10 Honks! (The goal is to eat more oatmeal this week.)

Shooting Two Birds

A worthy purchase–my first non-free ebook.

Start reading something new again this year. Watch the American Sniper this weekend. These were two personal plans that until today seem hard to achieve. But after two straight days of sleeping around midnight and waking up three hours after–yes, my almost four years of BPO life has taken over my normal sleeping pattern, and honestly I miss the days when I sleep uninterrupted from night until the right breakfast moment–I finally did myself a favor.

It’s Sunday morning and I just shot two birds with one stone. Immediately after reading the sample from my Kindle for Android app I decided that today’s the perfect day I swipe my plastic card to pay for my first ebook ever and at the same time know the story of an American legend. Although it’s not really through a movie, yet, I am quite sure that with this book I will learn more about how a man shot his way (pardon the pun) into history.

Two birds with one stone is something I don’t know if Chris Kyle did manage to do using a sniper rifle but I will know soon. So if you’ll excuse me I have a day to find out. I’m now on page 19.

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Interestingly, sometime in November last year–also on a weekend, same unholy hour–I purchased my first Google Play movie. It was Mark Wahlberg’s Shooter–also a sniper movie.

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Mood: 2/10 Honks! (It’s cold outside. The pan de sal is calling.)

Pope Francis: A Saint in the Making

Image from Facebook.

“St Francis of Assisi!” It was the first name I remembered and answered when, almost eight years ago, during our son’s baptism the priest asked us on the spot who would be that one saint whose life we would like our child to follow.

A saint whose name is associated with humility and the poor, St. Francis’ life is one of those inspiring stories I have read and heard both growing up with a pious mother and while taking my elementary and high school education in two Catholic schools. While I cannot recall now most of the details of St. Francis’ history he will remain to be among the ones that will immediately come up if I would be asked to name a great saint.

It was not surprising therefore to see the warm welcome the Filipinos gave when Pope Francis, the current head of the Catholic church, arrived in the Philippines on January 15, 2015. A man who days after he started to take his seat in Rome in 2013 soon became so loved and respected around the world as news spread fast about his charismatic character and exemplary leadership. He is a Pope who does not only declare that he is for the poor but he also lives the life of simplicity as reflected in his actions and policies.

Pope Francis radiates so much good energy that it is easy to get emotional merely knowing he has arrived. Frankly, last Wednesday I had to compose myself behind the wheel on my way to work when I  realized that my eyes are tearing up as I listen to the news on the radio that the Pope has finally stepped out of the Sri Lankan plane. I am quite sure I was among the millions who felt the same thing.

Today is Pope Francis’ last day in the Philippines but definitely many people will remember the time when a 78-year old holy man braved the country’s unpredictable weather just so he can make his presence felt by as much people he can. He spent four hectic days touching the lives and bringing hope to the Filipinos, near or far, often disregarding his convenience, security, itinerary. Such a good man. I bet that the right time will come when sooner or later we will get to know another St. Francis. God bless you Pope Francis. Bon voyage, mabuhay ka!

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Photo credit: PNoy’s Facebook.

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Mood: 2/10 Honks! (Wishing the Pope a safe trip back to Rome.)

Ugly is Sexy

I am back to using ugly permalinks. Last time I switched to a permalink setting that made my links look a lot better. For example, under the pretty permalink setting my first post this year would appear as https://marcuscanblog.com/when-how-are-you-is-good-enough/ instead of https://marcuscanblog.com/?p=1604 on the browser’s address bar. But while it makes the link appear neat it has its own drawback–it disables the archives widget which means that anyone trying to find an old posts (assuming there are people who want to) using the dropdown menu would be staring at a blank page. WordPress.org I know has a solution for this but for now ugly is sexy.