crisn

The Red Wheelchair Flies

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, no…it’s a wheelchair. Yes, the long wait is over and Marcus and his wheelchair is flying against all odds, against weird baggage weight requirement.

Our plan to pack light, just a carry-on bag and one for check in, seems like a bad idea. We didn’t know that what works in domestic flight won’t do in international. We discovered that the weight requirement is strictly enforced per bag so we have to summon our packing talent, or the lack of it, in a whim. It was a good thing we brought one extra backpack to distribute the excess stuffs. We eventually found ourselves waiting to board the aircraft, tired, hungry, sleepy but we made it.

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Mood: 2/10 Honks! (That expensive jumbo siopao made my day.)

Christmas S_cks

Depends on who you ask, the idea of Christmas could differ. For most kids, it’s all about Christmas socks. For most adults, it’s Christmas sucks and that is just sad. It is why it pays to be a kid or a kid at heart this holiday season. It’s about setting aside all that pride and prejudice that hinder the true spirit of Christmas. It’s about having that innocence, at least for the time being.

Christmas is the perfect time to once again believe in Santa because Santa does exist. Baloney? Grinch, eh? Hear this. You see kids do not have a strong grasp of the origin of Christmas yet and so it takes some creativity to enforce to them the reward system–what one gets when he’s naughty or nice. And this is when Santa Claus comes to the rescue. With his sleigh and reindeer. With Rudolph the red-nosed leader. Remember that even Jesus made use of parables to get his message across. To use therefore a fat bearded man in a red suit who tirelessly shouts ho, ho, ho isn’t really a bad thing. Given the right parenting and faith, kids will soon understand the real reason behind this season. For now let’s allow Santa Claus to fill those Christmas socks.

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I have to stressed most kids in the statement. There are others out there with an empty Christmas socks as the least of their worries. Let’s spare a thought and a prayer for them.

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Mood: 1/10 Honks! (One more day and Marcus’ dream will come true.)

20/20

For months I have prepared for this day when I and wifey became a couple 20 years ago. And this is where she protests. Hehe. I actually have forgotten about it until she reminded me last night. Anyway, looks like 20 is a significant number this December as a day after this impromptu cake turns unfit for consumption (don’t worry we’ll make sure it happen) we’ll all be into something wonderful again. I love you wifey 😉

***

Mood: 3/10 Honks! (That baked beef for lunch was heaven.)

Frail

The afternoons are for cats. Marcus with Tiger.

There are things that are hard to deny, things that its progression can’t be stopped. Such is the case in Marcus’ condition. This week he felt pain on his right calf after I got him out of bed—this was the first time we’ve heard him complain about it. Every morning I get him out of bed, with his permission, by grabbing his feet. This gets his whole legs stretched besides the regular massage I give him. All the while we never had any issues except occasional request for him to stay few minutes more in bed. Concerned about the pain, I made sure since then that I pull him out by holding either on his upper legs or arms. I am more careful this time.

The good news is that Marcus still maintains a happy disposition. He smiles often and is even good at making anyone laugh at his antics and stories. He is a natural joker, he likes making his own impression of me and wifey and it cracks me up all the time. He would also share his amusing thoughts every now and then.

Despite stuck in his computer games almost the whole day every day, he continues to surprise us whenever he speaks up. “Mommy, I want to build a time machine,” he said to her one evening while preparing to sleep. “Why?” asked wifey. “So that I could go back to when I could still walk.” He also wishes to go as far back as the biblical times so he could talk to Jesus about getting healed just like in the stories from his first bible book.

He likes to make himself useful. He just finished placing stuffs in the fridge.

His mindset too has changed. If in the past he would have a big no for an answer to the idea of being a big brother, this time he reconsiders. With some conditions. “Mommy, I want you to adopt a baby girl. She should have the same complexion like mine,” he told wifey one night. “But I don’t want her to call me brother. I want to be called ‘hero’,” he added. On that same night he sent me a text message with the same demand. (It was a welcome relief from listening to awkward calls recordings.) That Xbox SIMS game he’s been playing is blessing and a curse—it made him embrace the idea of adoption.

Friends and relatives who know our stories would commend us for being strong parents. Well sometimes we are but sometimes we try hard to be–we need to. Marcus’ condition will continue unless technology makes significant findings to slow it down or better yet stop it for good. Whatever happens, we commit to continue to hold on to each other’s strengths so that we fill in each other’s weaknesses. We are hoping he won’t get frail any further soon.

***

WordPress updates have been a handful lately. Every time there is a new update I would encounter a new error. This time was about FileZilla blocking most files that led me to discover an alternative–WinSCP–and it works like a charm. The interface was so simple that I was able to make wifey and Marcus update the files.

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My fans, 5 or 6 of them, were having a hard time opening this blog site when using their phones but thanks to a plugin called WPtouch the site is now mobile friendly.

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Mood: 1/10 Honks! (Exactly one more week…)

The Starbucks Planner Dilemma

Some people by now have already started coming in and out of Starbucks stores. Some in a rush to complete their sticker booklets while some to redeem their own Starbucks planner. Well, not me but however late it may be, this time I seem to reconsider the idea. The dilemma ‘to planner or not to planner’ strikes once more.

That’s because I just realized that after a long time, this year appears to be the year when I should’ve had a planner of some sort. Stuck in my car last Friday and having finished a heavy rice meal right after I parked at work three hours earlier than usual, I found myself pondering on things that have happened this year. Everything was overwhelming since 2016 started.

Events came in faster than I would have imagined. Marcus got his US visa against all odds; we transferred house on a tight budget and in a short timeframe; I unexpectedly got a new role at work; and everything else—good or bad—in between. It was like a smorgasbord served in front of me all at the same time and the no leftover rule applies. (Ah yes, not close to any Japanese buffet but it’s like the pack of lauriat I found in the backseat that my sister was supposed to take with her when I dropped her back in Alabang. Everything in the paper bag was cold by then but good enough.)

That Chowking meal made me last until the end of the day’s training. A training that had me cancel a vacation I planned long before I got myself in this new account, in this new culture. Oh, and a plane ticket to be rebooked in the process. I now owe wifey Php 6000 more.

So maybe yes I need a planner this time. Maybe I should start using one again to take note of schedules, list of people I need to meet (and avoid), and maybe to doodle while stressed in the parking lot. Assuming I spend a venti everyday until the 30th I think could still get it. But then again that’s almost 2000 pesos for a planner so maybe not—not until I start to realize that I actually need to plan an itinerary in the weeks to come. A cheap notebook seems more appealing for now.

From the PAL office to Acacia. We dropped by to say hi and take a dip in hotel’s pool.

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Mood: 6/10 Honks! (Rebooking sucks.)

A Bit Scary Bits

Don’t let your fear paralyze you. The scariest paths often lead you to the most exciting places. – Lori Deschene

Hello 2016, you’re almost over. As we flip our calendars to November we also celebrate wifey’s birthday. This year though is a lot more special for today she reaches that phase when life they say begins–she’s now 40! We find it always funny that it happens at the very same time when everyone flocks to the cemeteries to pay respect to their dear departed. Anyway, happy birthday to you milove and may God bless you with better health and longer life ahead. For one, Marcus and I need someone to cook for us.

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This is usually the week when scary stories and TV shows come around. I recall those years when we would get glued in front of Magandang Gabi Bayan’s Halloween episode but the fact that we now know videos can get manipulated has made me a lesser fan of any similar shows. Some current events news are much scarier lately–EJK, anyone?

***

Our compound was empty as everyone paid a visit to my sister-in-law’s grave so it’s just Marcus and I for several hours. After dropping off wifey at the cemetery, I briefly left Marcus in the tub and suddenly a shriek echoed. I rushed back to see Marcus staring not at a zombie but at a harmless spider on the wall. It made me recall wifey’s story about the other DMD mom’s observation that their sons too freak out at the sight of insects and spiders. Maybe it’s that feeling of not being able to run or at least walk away that makes them feel scared of those crawly creepers. Makes sense to me now.

***

Wifey has this weird habit of staying until the midnight to welcome her birthday but last night she fell asleep early–didn’t text her as I was on training. Hehe. Soon she felt someone shaking her. It was from someone with a pair of tiny cold hands. It was Marcus. Being a late sleeper, he waited for the clock’s two fingers to strike 12 so that he can greet her happy birthday. See it’s not all about scary stuff for today’s blog post. Sweet.

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That quote on top by the way is from Twitter. Yup, about a year or so of hiatus I’m starting to check it out again. I feel I’m being called to report for keyboard warrior duty. Be scared.

I’m scary even without a mask. (Taken in Bacolod two years ago.)

***
Mood: 2/10 Honks! (Two days off.)

A Gathering of Kids in Wheelchairs

First meeting with the DMD Moms. (Picture posted with permission.)

In a matter of one week after we joined the FB group DMD Moms the meeting happened. On Saturday, October 8, a couple of members made it to Waltermart Makiling and it probably was one of the few times, if not the only time, this Kuya J resto location witnessed a meeting of kids in wheelchairs with their moms and dads.

Since we learned about our kid’s condition more than a year ago, this our first time to come face to face with other parents who have chosen to meet the challenge head on. These are parents, moms especially, who stared at their young boys’ dystrophy straight in the eye and commit to make the lives of their kids better against all odds.

It was a surprise that Marcus was relatively behaved. Days prior to this meeting he was so anxious, he has lots of questions. He also expressed that he plans to just wave, say hi, and shut up. But he didn’t. He interacted with almost everyone, parents and kids alike. There were some awkward moments though like when he cried when he saw the cooked shrimps—he doesn’t like to learn about animals being killed and cooked but he eats fried chicken. SSShhh. He also refused to answer some questions referring to our constant reminder not to talk to strangers. After some explanations, he got along well with the others.

We hope that this isn’t the first and the last meeting. Like any other conditions, it pays to have a support group, a group who perfectly understand what the others are going through and could possibly help one way or another. At least Marcus now knows that after all he is not alone and that he could actually have friends aside from those in school and his cousins. Kudos by the way to the crew of Kuya J for being accommodating and understanding. They even honored the individual PWD cards that we presented. Facility of this branch is also great besides tables that could have been much more wheelchair-friendly.

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Picture was taken exactly a year ago at the gym where I used to workout.

Mood: 2/10 Honks! (Wifey solved my network problem. Two heads are better than one.)

Understanding the President

This blog rarely contains political posts as I would avoid doing it as much as possible. I see such as one that usually contains rants and more often than not it is similar to any drunken social media post that anyone would regret the following day besides nurturing a bad hangover. But sometimes it has to be done on a whim especially when there is a challenge to do so.

In the recent days since I started being confined in a cold room at work–so cold I swear it feels like below freezing–with nobody else but one person I realized I am not totally introvert after all. I need to talk to someone, anyone, and so Facebook became the perfect place. My then dying MyPhone Rio didn’t deter me from answering “What’s on your mind?”

Little did I know that I would do more than just catching up with friends. I discovered that news and posts on my timeline has become more political. (There’s still a fragment of adults who continue to believe in copy-pasting hoax and requesting to type amen on comments but it’s another story.) Soon I would find myself getting so involved in the discussions.

I do not consider myself yellow, neither I’m a big fan of the current President who has continued to take an aggressive stand against the drug trade. I like this guy’s vision for the country but I don’t like his methods. Recently he and his loyal fans cry foul over the media that they accuse as biased, as an organization who openly take the President’s words out of context. Yesterday his allies crafted another defense. They called for everyone to open their minds and have a creative imagination so that the nation would understand our main guy. I heed the call so I made a pop quiz for my Facebook friends.

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Pop quiz! How well do you know the guy. No cheating. #digong101

1. When he says “Go to hell”, does he mean:
A. Go home
B. Go to hell
C. Go to hill
D. A and B
E. None of the above. It’s just his bipolar ego talking.

2. When he says “For the life of me, I’d rather kneel before the king of Brunei or Thailand but I will never before the Americans”, does it mean:
A. He loves the King of Brunei.
B. He loves kneeling in front of the King of Brunei.
C. He was once a Brunei beauty in his past life.
D. He plans to one day kiss the King of Brunei.
E. A and B
F. B and C
G. A and D
H. All of the above
I. None of the above. It’s just the media getting him out of context.
J. An American once broke his heart.

3. When he says “… there’s three million drug addicts. There are. I’d be happy to slaughter them.” Did he mean:
A. He owns a slaughter house.
B. He will personally slaughter all these addicts.
C. He needs help to slaughter all addicts.
D. Not really all, it’s just a figure of speech.
E. It depends if he finds friends wrongly included in the list.
F. All of the above
G. None of the above. Blame the biased media.
H. F and G, depending on which bipolar trait is currently in control.

4. When he said he will “ride a jet ski while bringing the Philippine flag”, is it because:
A. He plans to show defiance and aggression towards China.
B. He plans to surrender the island with a Philippine flag on it like an icing on a cake.
C. It’s pure propaganda composed by a paid troll who is now likely part of the cabinet.
D. Our country does not have any decent boat he can use.
E. All of the above
F. None of the above. Misquoted.

5. When he swears, does he really say “F*ck you!”?
A. Yes, but it’s just a harmless expression because he was once poor.
B. No, PI is the preferred word because he is Filipino.
C. Nope, he does not swear. The media is only using bleep in the news to make him appear as if he swore.
D. A and B
E. Next question please.

6. When he said he will get rid of the drug problem within 3 months, does it mean:
A. Yes, 3 months only.
B. 3 months x 2
C. 3 months x 4 x 6 years
D. It depends as there are 3 million addicts.
E. Did he say that?

***

Mood: 2/10 Honks! (Some light bulb moments could get us in trouble.)

DMD Moms

It was another well-deserved Saturday morning when a notification icon on my new phone shows a red number beside it. Sooner I realized it is from the Messenger app and when I opened it there were like 5-8 messages waiting to be read. Some more than a year old already, some from people I know, others from people I choose to continue to ignore. But there’s one that caught my attention the most. It was from someone I had a chat with more than a month ago using our laptop, she invited me to join their Facebook group. I would normally shy away from such invites but this time I eagerly agreed.

It was DMD Moms. As the name implies, the group is mostly composed of moms of kids with DMD just like Marcus. This is our second online contact with others who have the same case as we do. The first one was Muscle Dystrophy Philippines but DMD Moms seems more personal and active–one you would expect when you gather a group of chatty moms. That same day, I informed wifey about it and in no time she joined the group as well.

While being the latest members of the group, it didn’t take long before we see familiar stories. Stories of despair, stories of strength, stories of hope, stories of love and commitment. According to the one who invited me, the group has currently less than 30 members, us included. We also learned that some are located close to where we live so a meeting could soon happen and when it does, it would be the first time Marcus would meet someone who also has DMD. We are looking forward to it.

***

For the second time, I got a new phone courtesy of wifey. While I’m waiting for the MyPhone store to replenish its Rio batteries, wifey had secretly ordered something from Lazada. So here’s me with a new Flash Plus 2 which is more than enough to run my Kindle. Well, it made me discover the benefits of the Facebook and Messenger apps. Oh, I tried some selfie while alone at work but camera didn’t make me look good. I wonder if there’s like Photoshop or the popular beautify setting like what most of my Facebook friends use. You’ll know when I found it. Out of the box, it’s a good phone so far.

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Mood: 3/10 Honks! (Pain on my right back is almost gone.)

The (tough) challenge to turn minimalist

My current focus has been on the path of being a minimalist. It’s not that I live a complicated lifestyle, full of stuffs to flaunt or experiences worthy of a Facebook or Instagram post. I’m not one of those but I feel that there are still opportunities to declutter and make my life simpler yet fuller—the basic philosophy of minimalism. Thankfully, the transition is made easier as there seems to be a trend and resources to face this challenge as what I have found mostly on Becoming Minimalist.

Do not be fooled though, for decluttering is a big word. It does not only mean disposing physical objects like decades of magazines, baby toys, used clothes, gadgets, etcetera, but it also means dealing with emotional burdens like grudges, lost opportunities and anxieties, whether due to attachments to things we cherish the most or for some other reasons, that hold us back from moving forward and achieving a life that’s less stuffy.

The need to face this challenge head on started to become more serious when we decided to transfer to another house. I was hit with a realization that we have things at home that have either never used or that we will never ever need. This despite giving away clothes regularly when we hear on TV about people needing some due to typhoon or fire. We’ve also given away some of our son’s old toys on trick or treat days or on Christmas seasons. Still it seems that those weren’t enough.

Except for movable things like the stand fan and a turtle in the basin, this area remains clear like on our first days. I have also blocked my wife’s plan to buy a stationary bike.

So when we eventually got settled in our current house, I made sure that more unnecessary stuffs will have to go—having no shelf or extra cabinet helped in the decision making. So far I have given away paperbacks that I once find hard to dispose due to sentimental reasons. Marcus has also agreed to say goodbye to some of his old McDonald’s happy meal toys and Duplos. Wedding gifts like tea sets, plates, glass bowls and the likes were also given away with wifey’s permission. Every one of us did our part in clearing the tangibles and make the house clean and wheelchair-friendly.

Some of the books that have once made me occupied in the parking lot have been given away. I’m now using Kindle.

Clearing the mind of anxieties, however, is a tougher enemy and is an ongoing battle. To let go of what-would/could-have-beens is often hard to shake off. While I have started to get used to look at Marcus straight in the eye when I reassure him that not being able to walk shouldn’t be a big deal, I would sometimes catch myself seeing images of him once walking naturally and him running around and enjoying an active life as an adult. But maybe it’s the life that isn’t meant to be and acceptance means changing sail and let fate take its course.

Yesterday, during the homily the priest made the perfect reminder. He said that human as we are, we tend to easily forget that what we currently have are all temporary; worse, we become so selfish that we refuse to share to those that need the most. That was spot on.

I know that what I try to achieve in a world of consumerism and self-centeredness is a feat full of obstacles. The temptation to give in is always present so focus to the goal is key. Honestly, I do not know when I would achieve minimalism or if there is even such point, but I am willing to take on the challenge and see how far I could let go of clutters so as to live life as it should be lived.

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This was tough parenting week for us. Marcus has been playing this online Minecraft game called Skywars. He claims that there are banable offenses like hacking and teaming up that results to him getting killed unfairly. When it happens he get so frustrated yet the more he wants to get even. And one frustration leads to another—me included. To prevent this from happening again, I uninstalled his Minecraft PC application in front of him and eventually his user account just to realize soon that I shouldn’t have done it. Anyway, it surprises me that he recovered sooner that I thought and it’s as if nothing happened to the game he loves the most. Maybe he would be a better at letting go than I would ever be.

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Mood: 3/10 Honks! (Letting go of my comfort job.)