Posted on | May 12, 2012 | No Comments
Mommy,
Happy 2012 Mother’s Day!
Love,
Marcus : )
Noemi’s Mother’s Day
Posted on | May 12, 2012 | No Comments
The celebration is once again all over TV and the radio – the only media where she’s getting her free connection to the world outside the slums which she has accepted as home. Cruel twist of fate left Noemi no choice. She already knows this place very well from its smell, its noise, its people and along with the small kids that seem to grow in numbers every day.
“Happy mother’s day sa inyong mga mommy!” A familiar voice on noontime TV screams. This popular gay comedian has been Noemi’s source of cheap entertainment and short escape from reality. She and her gang have made Noemi smile, made her forget someone of her own. She has felt this guilt before in the past years. Obviously, memories remain fresh.
The TV host’s enthusiastic greeting got Noemi’s motherly intuition to kick in, again. “Pasensya na anak pero mas malakas ang kutob ko na mas mahal ka nila at tiyak na nasa mabuting kang mga kamay.” She could feel the lump in her throat as the image of a lovely yet frail Robert appears out of nowhere. Robert, the name she used to call her fifth son.
A sweaty arm from one of the rambunctious kids rubs next to Noemi and she instantly gets cut off from the thought that has haunted her for years. She lets go of Robert, looks around and fakes a smile as she begins to realize that she is in the midst of other people packed in one of the shanties as they get their daily dose of Showtime. Kids, some half-naked, some dirty, some half-naked and dirty, kept running around. Every kid seems to be here…except for one. Today, Noemi’s guilt has returned.
Tags: adoption > child adoption in the Philippines > domestic adoption > noontime shows
The squatters mentality
Posted on | April 29, 2012 | No Comments
Uncommon sense is now more common. (Illustration by Marcus' dad.)
Demolition. Scarborough. Demolition. Scarborough. Demolition. Scarborough. These words continue to flood the news and at some point I realized that both have something in common – the slums is a microcosm of the ongoing conflict that is happening between us and our neighboring countries who claim that they too own Scarborough Shoal and the Spratlys Island. This local and international news mixed up has been so strong that I have come to think that there are things from the steadfast squatters that every country uses to strengthen their own claim of the disputed Islands in the South China Sea:
- Our parents said it’s ours, so it’s ours. (According to web references, the Chinese believe that these islands are theirs since 200 BC.)
- We were born here, so it’s ours.
- We’ve already built a house here, so it’s ours. (Several claimants have built their own structure in Spratlys.)
- No relocation, no deal. (Personal appeal: please relocate me to the West before you guys resort to #5.)
- Mess us and we’ll mess with you. (This can get ugly…or stinky at the very least. Let’s avoid this at all cost.)
***
Mood: 3/10 Honks! (Hot Monday morning but wifey and Marcus don’t seem to care — they’re still in bed.)
Henry Hates Joyce (Poem for Baguio’s pine trees)
Posted on | April 22, 2012 | No Comments
Photo from the web
I think I shall never see
A sad poem about a parking lot made by Mr. Sy.
A parking lot whose chilly basement is pressed
Against Baguio’s once abundant pine tree crest.
A parking lot that looks at the mall all day;
And waits for cars of shoppers who pay.
A parking lot that covers people in Summer wear;
A nest of evicted bird species in its lair.
Upon its concrete levels Baguio’s cold has lain;
Insensitive, however, of the dead forest’s pain.
Poems are made by fools like me
But only greedy men can carelessly uproot hundreds of pine tree.
Credit:
Poem derived from ‘Trees’ by Joyce Kilmer.
Photo derived from www.freephotosbank.com
***
Mood: 1/10 Honks! (Monday and WE are home.)
Easter Bani
Posted on | April 7, 2012 | No Comments
Trying to collect himself and checking his location, Bani feels the unmistakable warmth of the bed. It’s still dark but he knows very well that he woke up neither from a leather-clad, double deck bed nor from a Lazy Boy, both of which where he has perfected 5-minute naps in almost a year; more so in the recent weeks when his sleeping pattern has been abnormal. Well, more than just his sleeping pattern, actually.
Few minutes more of staring blankly at the Discovery program on the wall-mounted TV, he fumbles for his phone, placed alongside the TV’s and air conditioner’s remote contol, and an empty liquor glass. “It’s 5 AM,” Bani silently reads from the blinding glare of his Nokia.
Bani soon realized that the cheap gin from his Black Saturday night cap has dried up where it spilled just barely a foot away from where his little boy, Raffy, lies. Just like last week, he has decided to return home from a planned sleepover with the family Bani has jokingly called ‘The Wilsons,’ Raffy being Dennis the Menace.
“Once again, he wants back,” the puzzled ‘Mrs. Wilson’ who lives just a couple of houses away, tells of Raffy who used to enjoy spending the night with them.
An hour more and Raffy remains static, his left thumb in his mouth, eyes partially shut. “His eyes look a lot like you,” he remembers the usual line his wife would tell him, referring to the partially opened eyes. Friends have told him it also means that he distrust people. Bani usually agree.
Bani’s April Fools’ Day
Posted on | March 31, 2012 | No Comments
Finally, after the feeding his almost 4-year old son, Bani gets his chance to have his own brunch. Eating another canned food, which has been his usual diet for about two months already, he glances at the calendar right across his table.
“So it’s now April Fools’ day,” Bani talks to himself, his son occupied with the Tom and Jerry show on TV. Life has been tough lately. Thoughts of cancelled weekend to a hot air balloon fiesta replaced by frequent trips to clinics and hospitals – with him behind the wheel and either his wife or kid waiting for their turn to see their respective doctors – race across his mind. He snaps back, he’s on his last spoonful of rice. Meal done, laundry next. Few more hours and Bani will be driving back to his in-laws where his wife’s been recovering.
It’s April Fools’ day and Bani is obviously not amused.
How to lessen trips to the gas station
Posted on | March 10, 2012 | No Comments
If only Krispy Kreme-fueled cars exist then a price hike won't be such a burden.
Latest news has it that the possibility of a P60/liter unleaded gas price is high and we all know this is not good news; not everyone knows, however, that there are more ways than one to beat this almost unstoppable fuel price hike. For example, parking the car longer than before – that is, use it less by carpooling or taking public transportation. Switching to more fuel-efficient cars such as newer models or the more expensive hybrids is also an option that other lucky individuals might have. Or lastly, and the most practical, is becoming more aware of things most of us used to ignore yet could actually affect how one can make fewer trips to the gas station. To achieve this last alternative, I now offer my top 5 tips to beat the fuel price hike:
- The lesser pullback, the better. Whether one comes from a full stop or shifting gears from second to third, that feeling of being pulled back to the car seat during acceleration is a sign that the car (and driver) is exerting too much effort which translates to inefficient use of fuel. To avoid this, keep in mind the simple tip I’ve read years ago: imagine an egg is underneath the gas pedal – step on it as light possible as a centimeter-deep (or even less) depression of the gas pedal is already enough to pump gas necessary to keep the car rolling. Always remember that in daily commute, pedal to the metal isn’t the way to go.
- Don’t get squeezed. The exact opposite of acceleration is deceleration but the effect is somehow similar which is demonstrated during braking. Any driver has likely experienced that feeling of being squeezed by the seatbelt (assuming he wears one) after applying the brake hard. Hard stoppage means “aborted” use of fuel and this is because gas that was pumped into the engine’s cylinder is supposed to make the car travel at a particular distance and by braking hard the dispensed fuel’s purpose is suppressed and wasted – well, unless the car has KERS or Kinetic Energy Recovery System such as one that is used by Formula 1 cars and hybrid automobiles.
- Avoid leaning hard sideways. Drivers executing a turn or maneuvering curved roads use a combination of the brake and gas pedal to control the car so both tip numbers 1 and 2 above apply in this scenario. In curved roads, the driver will experience countering centripetal force by leaning sideways at an apex; and again the harder one leans to one side, the likelihood of fuel wastage is high. To achieve a smoother drive, anticipating the curve is important as well as knowing when to brake and to accelerate. In normal condition, brake (as gently as possible) before entry to the curve (and/or switch to lower gear for better traction during the turn) and then accelerate upon exit.
- Gravity is your friend (and foe). Navigating through a downhill is an opportunity to save gas as this is when it is less stressful to the engine. Be aware, however, that turning the engine off (or even coasting) is a big no-no – for most cars, a turned off engine means zero vacuum which in turn disables the brake master and power steering. Go figure. Going up is of course more demanding to the car’s power source and it would be helpful if its load is lessened. If possible, turn the air conditioner off when driving uphill.
- Too cold isn’t cool. Speaking of air conditioners, one should use this wisely and sparingly when driving. A car that is too cold uses more fuel than it is supposed to be and that is why thermostats control knobs are there – lower the temperature whenever possible. One should also read their car owner’s manual to learn how the fan vents settings work to optimize the temperature inside the car especially if only the driver is inside.
The tips I have listed here, by the way, are with the assumption that the car is in good condition and keep in mind never to compromise safety over savings: ensure that car is maintained regularly, brake hard if needed, and follow the speed limits all the time. Drive safely everyone!
***
Mood: 6/10 Honks! (Writing to relieve the 2nd week of anxiety. Wifey still not well.)
Anna Banana (part II)
Posted on | March 3, 2012 | 2 Comments
Well, guess what? Barely a month after I posted my last blog about mama Berns who conquered the airwaves just to promote her son’s Anna Banana song on youtube.com, her relentless effort somehow paid off. As of this writing, the then lousy home-made video took off from just around 2,000 to almost a million hits.
But this is not because the video reached viral status on its own but it is because some crazy PLDT marketing guys took the risk of using Anna Banana as a radio ad to capture more potential PLDT myDSL subscribers. And while I can’t help but loathe whoever it was behind this gimmick, and pity other unsuspecting listeners who got “hypnotized” to check out this annabananaDSL video, I on the other hand agree that this is such a genius move. It is one of those effective campaign that was used by people behind American Idol’s William Hung, our very own Manny Pacquiao, and the versatile and beautiful actress Anne Curtis Smith. All these personalities became successful record artists despite their lack of singing skills.
Image from web.
We also know by now that both mama Berns and her son possess star features as well. It is just matter of time when these mother-and-son team would be seen on TV waving and smiling and getting more than the attention that they once wish they will achieve when mama Berns dialed her way to different FM stations and radio programs all the day long (probably with the goal of just getting youtube views). But of course I am still among those who believe that this boy behind the Anna Banana song will grow up hating himself for this youtube video but at the very least he would have one hell of a story to tell to everyone about the day when his original composition (and his mother’s persistence) got popular more than they expected it to be.
***
Grabbing the opportunity to write while my in-laws and their kids are here to visit us especially wifey who is still recovering from a bad infection.
***
Mood: 2/10 Honks! (Pizza and pasta and coke. Typical Sunday diet. Will regret it tomorrow.)
Do you know someone like mommy Berns?
Posted on | February 8, 2012 | No Comments
Graphics by Marcus' dad.
My drive home this morning was quite disappointing; mommy Berns did not call Mo Twister’s radio show. So who on earth is this mommy Berns anyway? Well, she was all over my other favorite radio stations the day before. She started at first as one regular caller who, just like the others, would call to share their piece of mind on the topic of the day or someone who would make a song request and then hang up. But mommy Berns did more than that – on different radio stations, on several occasions.
I first heard the seemingly friendly voice on Wave 89.1 FM’s morning show. I did not catch the exact conversation between her and the DJs but I soon realized that she is not a regular listener after she requested an unfamiliar song title and one that does not belong to the station’s New Wave Wednesday’s playlist. The discussion became more odd when mommy Berns said that the song is actually a composition of his son and that she would like to promote its location on YouTube.com. It was a personal plug that the unsuspecting DJs had to entertain as if to shorten their (and mine) agony from one weird caller.
Evening came and once again I was back behind the wheel on my way to work and my car radio still on the same frequency, same music genre. Everything on the program that night seems the same, including a surprise caller – mommy Berns. Along with the new set of DJs in a different radio show came the same caller with the same purpose – to place a shameless plug and this time she has become more spontaneous which made me wonder if she has been talking about the same thing all day. My hunch was right.
On schedule, I tuned in to another station to catch up on Jam 88.3’s The Daily Stew with Roanna where I get my daily fix of alternative music (and interesting trivia and topics from its host @roannaruiz). As I maneuver my way through crazy traffic, a voice came out of the car stereo which almost made me freak out and sideswipe counter-flowing motorcycle riders – it could’ve been the perfect excuse.
It is mommy Berns.
She’s talking to Roanna Ruiz.
She’s talking about the same stuff.
“My goodness. Ti abi. WTH. Let the Mayans be right, now!”
For the third time that day, on my last stretch before I reach work, I heard the ever familiar and annoying spiel again, “…it’s composed by my son…it’s on YouTube.com…please watch annabananadsl.” Wow.
Thankfully, I arrived at work in one piece – I also checked the car carpet and I didn’t see any of my dinner on it – but with several thoughts racing in my mind. Have we been, consciously or unconsciously, a mommy Berns who is ever proud of our own child(ren) and so willing to talk about them all day (and annoy people in the process)? Do we know someone like mommy Berns?
Few minutes later, I realized I was walking past the production’s door….
***
I checked out AnnaBananaDSL and so far mommy Berns’ efforts got around 1,700 views as of today.
***
Erratum: I just discovered on Twitter that it’s Mama Berns and not mommy Berns.
***
Mood: 3/10 Honks! (Marcus still coughing but taking meds. Few more days before the balloon fest.)
Nearing honda hybrid consumption
Posted on | February 2, 2012 | No Comments
Honda Hybrid. (Image from the web.)
I read this news about a woman in California winning a case against the manufacturer of Honda Hybrid after her Japanese hybrid vehicle failed to meet the expected gas consumption of 21 kilometers per liter (50 mpg). According to the news Heather Peters received more than USD9,000 from Honda or around 400,000 in Philippine peso which is enough to buy a used Honda City like what I am currently using.
This article is so timely as I have just finished computing my January consumption and believe or not, our Honda City 2008 achieved the highest gas mileage I have ever recorded since I started the conscious effort to take note of my gas expenses and driving habits. The first two months after August, I was able to prove that I am among the average Honda City owners who is at the 13 km/liter range but sooner or later I began getting favorable gas consumption. In October I reached 17 km/liter.
December 2011 and January 2012 data, however, are more encouraging. Despite the Christmas holiday traffic, my less aggressive driving style resulted to 18 km/liter — more distance covered with lesser trip to the gas station — which is just 3 kilometers short of the disputed Honda Hybrid figures. Yes, I know, the 50 mpg promised by Honda is for city driving which “if true” is about double of what non-hybrid cars (like mine) can achieve but apparently since there is a winner in this case against Honda, it just shows that there is still some sort of flaw in this expensive vehicle’s system (unless Honda got some incompetent lawyers like those in CJ Corona trial. Oppps, different topic. Sorry, cant’ help it).
And so with this latest milestone, I now face the challenge of breaking the new kilometer per liter record and perhaps prompt more Honda Hybrid owners to file more complaints once they read that another guy with a lowly Honda City somewhere in the Philippines comes close to the gas consumption they’re supposed to have with their brand new Honda Hybrid.
***
Trivia: In Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, one will spot a Honda City 2008 car swerving while Ethan Hunt gives change in the midst of a sand storm. This is just a few of the interesting scenes in this movie. Yes, just a few. Disappointing film.
***
Mood: 3/10 Honks! (Wifey and kiddo left me. They’ll be back. Hahaha.)
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