So we discovered this one place in Nuvali where we experience drifting a car outside of the virtual world. Marcus loved it so much that we have to do it again on our second visit. Thanks to wifey who this time tagged along with us to capture this video.
By the way, thanks to the crew of Skidkart Circuit who made a kid in a wheelchair (and his dad) experience what he only sees on his Need For Speed Most Wanted game. We will try to find you in Tagaytay if we happen to be there.
***
Mood: 2/10 Honks! (This Ayala Mall Solenad already feels like home to Marcus.)
We are not done talking about dreams yet. There is probably no other place where Marcus would like to be and it’s not where most would go to. At the same age, kids in general would say Disneyland, some Universal Studio, some Legoland. But none of these are Marcus’ choice. Where then? London. Yes, London. If he had a bucket list this would be among his things to do, we bet it could be his topmost even. His obsession with this place amuses us.
Firstly, he wants to meet one of his YouTube idols, DanTDM. Given his own free will, he plans to see him and his pugs. Just like that. For Marcus, things were as simple as just dropping by to say hello, like how he now does with this cousins wherein he visits them almost every day since we transferred. He spends so much time on YouTube channel of DanTDM that he feels his favorite YouTuber is no celebrity but rather someone ordinary who he has access to in short notice. Oh by the way, our son’s such a big fan that he wants to color his hair blue just like Dan did. I told him he can when he turns ten. (Two years to go and I hope he forgets.)
Then what’s a visit to London if you haven’t seen the Queen? So this one too is part of Marcus’ agenda. He once asked if he would be allowed to enter the palace to see the Queen. We told him it isn’t easy to get past the guards but he was insistent and it seems like he already has a plan. “I will sing We Will Rock You, that’s by the Queen,” he stressed. Well, he’s got a different Queen in mind, Freddy Mercury would be proud.
Besides singing his way in to the palace, he has other tests for the famous Buckingham Palace guards. Having seen it once on Mr. Bean’s cartoon show, he would like to prove if they do stay still while on duty despite being surrounded by annoying tourists. This reminds me of one of his classmates who once said she remembers Marcus whenever she watches Mr. Bean. Yup, he could be as animated and funny at times. When not being stubborn, he’s a natural comedian.
There was also a day when while undergoing his session with a local reflexology therapist or manghihilot, he saw on Pinoy Abroad, a local TV network afternoon series, the familiar London underground sign that he sees a lot in Modern Warfare 3. He said he wants to see the actual place to check if it does look like the one in his Call of Duty game. Yup, I know, the game’s rated M so sue me.
So how do we get him to London? We can’t for now but Marcus is keeping his fingers crossed that I win the lotto. Far-fetched but sounds like the only plan.
For now we are close to visiting that flag in the background. (Taken in MOA by the Bay on the day wifey and I renewed our passports.)
***
Our son seems to be bent on getting his travel funds. Last night he asked his mommy if he can help finish her freelance job. Hmm.
***
Mood: 2/10 Honks! (Today we are committed to fight the summer heat. Home-made halu-halo coming.)
We have stopped taking note of Marcus’ milestones. We consider him as any regular kid except that he cannot walk. In the past few months since his last check up, nothing seems to have happened significantly which for me and my wife is good enough. Actually, things have been relatively normal for us. There is this one though that we have been wondering if or when it would happen. Now it did.
Marcus has started dreaming, well, at least he already started telling us what they were. Not until this year, he has never told us about his dreams. I find it weird that he doesn’t have any–not even a nightmare. It is just so unbelievable that he won’t have one with all the things going around him like video games, movies, stories, school, toys, flawed parents, and any other factors that would easily form good or bad images or a combo of both while he is on REM. I was thinking then that either he is among those who soon forget their dreams once they open their eyes, or he opts to lie all about it. Whatever that is, I was sort of worried that he does not have a dream to tell.
My wife said that she would sometimes observe Marcus talking in his sleep but he couldn’t (or wouldn’t) recall what he dreamt of when asked about it in the morning. Soon, however, we would hear one from him.
The first instance he disclosed his dream was one that’s outright scary. Obviously a nightmare. He told his mommy about his dream where God is bad so much so that he is now afraid of seeing that ‘God’ again. We have already assured him that it couldn’t be so, that it couldn’t be the God we know. He has not described what he saw and I do not want to ask either (I had nightmares of holy statues and figures in the past and they’re the worse ones).
Captured by wifey just last night, Marcus here is reading his first Holy Bible. Must be double checking if God isn’t supposed to be scary.
But he had happy ones, too. Whew. He excitedly told us one day that he dreamt of being able to walk and run around and I can very well feel how it must be like for him–it’s like me dreaming of flying freely just to wake up and realize that I can’t. Come to think of it, it was rather a bittersweet dream but it is a dream I am sure he would always like to have.
I wonder if he has dreamt of being here in his Roblox game.
***
Some of Marcus’ dreams are actually coming true. While he dreams of being on a plane to London, he will soon be on one but to another destination.
***
Mood: 2/10 Honks! (Will catch some sleep. Will dream.)
“I’m not afraid, to take a stand, everybody, come take my hand, we’ll walk this road together, through the storm, whatever weather, cold or warm, just letting you know that you’re not alone…” Such powerful words from a great hit. While I sing along to this song whenever it’s on the radio, I didn’t learn about its full lyrics until I searched it online for it was yesterday when I heard Sparsh Shah sing it on a video that has gone viral. He is just a 12-year old boy.
Sparsh Shah isn’t a regular lad though. The boy from New Jersey has Osteogenesis Imperfecta which is a genetic disorder that results to extremely fragile bones. Confined in a wheelchair, Sparsh sings his powerful rendition of Not Afraid which is an original piece by Eminem. His parents made sure the bad words aren’t included.
Videos like this inspire but I have yet to show it to Marcus who recently has become more expressive of his music preferences. Besides being unable to be mobile unaided, there’s another similarity between him and Sparsh, their liking of songs from a rap artist. Marcus is a fan of at least two Macklemore hits. I don’t know though if sooner or later he will come with his own video of Can’t Hold Us.
***
Among the obvious milestones before Marcus turns eight this year is that he sings more often than before. Although he does not have a full grasp on the lyrics, I would catch him singing a line or two while in the car or while seated in front of the computer. His favorite music genre is broad but the usual influences are our car’s preset FM stations, video games, and YouTube subscriptions. He sings or hums It’s Raining Tacos, Downtown, and Shut Up and Dance to name a few. This week, he has been asking for Eye of the Tiger and Verge. Check out Marcus’ Playlist page to see songs he like/d (he refuses to believe he used to go crazy over Barney and Ben 10 songs).
***
Mood: 2/10 Honks! (One more week and I would be closer to Budong’s pan de sal.)
Google recently launched a search engine that is kid-friendly. My wife said that she has tested it and had me try it myself this morning. Unlike the regular Chrome, or any other browsers, Kiddle does not auto-fill which means the danger of our kids typing a misspelled word or phrase and with SEO taking over to suggest options is over. Of course, Google also placed filters to allow only sites with age appropriate content to appear. If our tech savvy kid would accept Kiddle as his main and only browser is another story.
Just exaggerating but yes we are safe for now. Thanks Kiddle.
“Daddy, do you love me?” While at the Shell SLEX station just last Sunday, Marcus, whom I was carrying as usual held my head with both his hands and asked me the question. That was the first time I heard him ask it. I can see his smile just inches away from my face but I sensed he needs an immediate answer. Of course, I said yes, though I hesitated as I was not expecting it while occupied with the thought of where to give him dinner, either in KFC or Chowking. He shot the question to his mother that same night and has been asking us the question every now and then.
He also has other questions that he has kept asking and that we have tried our best explaining. “Why do I have DMD?” “Does God love me?” “Am I going to get well soon?” “When I am 40 would I be still in a wheelchair?” Kids do say the darndest things but they do ask simple questions that are hard to answer.
The challenge in answering questions of the young minds is in making them understand. Just like in one of the classes I attended, the trainer posed the challenge, “Explain the process like you would to a kid.” Question like “Does God love me?” could be easier to answer to an adult as they would (take not of the conditionals) normally reconcile the answers from things they’ve read and past advices they have heard. Normally, one would only need an affirmation. But kids with such fresh minds plus their innocence would have different ideals. The magic and powers they see in their favorite Superheroes make it more difficult to put things in perspective.
This morning, I read on Facebook that there is a book titled Dear Pope Francis where the Pope answers questions of kids he has received. I would love to get a copy of this book and I hope someone has asked similar questions that Marcus has.
***
Mood: 3/10 Honks! (Will start cleaning the house.)
Petron makes it feel like it’s Christmas already with its Batman Vs Superman items as today, on its first day of their promo I got Marcus’ favorite hero item, the Batman lamp. I would say that this is probably a worthy item that P200 could buy nowadays.
Beside my Starbucks mug, this item is bigger than expected.
As seen in the picture, the Batman item is more than double than I expect it to be. There are three more items to collect and surprisingly Marcus wants to have all including Superman whom he hated so much. He also said he is going to give the Wonder Woman item to his mom–a fitting symbolism.
***
Marcus wishes that he would be allowed to watch this latest Batman and Suoerman movie. He was so disappointed recently for not seeing the Deadpool movie as it is rated R-16.
I promised him that I would get him a copy of the Deadpool movie as soon as it becomes available but it won’t happen anytime soon after I watched it together with wifey. Deadpool will never be for kids. Yes, it is one great movie but trust the R-16 rating if you don’t want to explain things to your kids other than why Deadpool’s suit is red.
That’s Marcus and I together online. I intentionally erased my identity.
I have a predictable routine at home. In a time lapse video I would be seen either seated or lying beside Marcus’ white plastic table where he spends almost his whole day playing his favorite online games which are just either Roblox or Minecraft. On some days, we would go shoot the bad guys in Call of Duty. Trust me, he is a sharp shooter, a lot better than me.
Yesterday, while staring at his Roblox game something struck me. That real people are like characters in games such as in this Lego-like environment. Like Marcus’ boxy policeman in patrol, one of the roles he like to play, our perspective in life does control our actions. For example, in the third person perspective, a gamer could see more of everything around him–the whole place, the bad guys, and the good guys alike. With a bigger picture, it makes it easier to decide on the next appropriate actions. Such should be the case when we encounter problems in real life–we should step back, analyze, and form the corresponding solution.
On the other hand, there’s that first person view. This one allows an approach that is focused only on what is directly in front. In games, a lot of movement, from side to side, to turning back, have to be made to ensure that no one sneaks past and take advantage of your current position. This approach is head on and works well if we know what needs to be done. Same goes in real life. We face the issue and deal with it.
There is not one perspective, however, that is perfect. Each requires sound judgment to benefit from it and therefore it is important that one knows when to step back and have a bird’s eye view of the situation; and when to zoom in to be able to engage accordingly. In real life, it takes more than just a mouse control wheel to shift from first person to third person and vice versa. Marcus told me how he does it. It fascinates me that his game would bring me into a short yet deep thought. I can see that when he errs, when he loses, he can respawn, he can restart all over again. Don’t we all wish life is just like this too?
This week I am due to pay my monthly gym membership fee but I’m passing up on it. I have been thinking about discontinuing my payment since October but the main reason that would make me finally cease from taking that 10-minute walk from home has not happened even until now. This time, however, I have decided to save my P500 whether I like it or not.
It is true that going to the gym is addictive, I can attest to that. Like any other gym rats, I discovered that sense of pride and the accompanying high I get, thanks to endorphins, even just after an hour of intense workout. To conquer that next dumbbell in the row is always rewarding and it progresses to the start of a new goal–heavier weight, you’re next.
Going to the gym was never a thing for me. I hate competing with anyone else, more so tolerate the thought of having to deal with, and the sight of, people who loiter and spend time doing anything but workout–like those excessively staring in the mirror and taking selfies all day. Thankfully, a change in mindset made me overcome this pet peeve. The gym I realized is where my focus is tested, where I compete with myself rather than against the others. But could I still workout if I stop going to the gym?
The only gym pic I ever had.
Questions I have in mind about other options in staying physically fit sans the machines were answered by one of the few books I purchased on Amazon using my almost maxed out credit card.
Strength Rules by Danny Kavadlo provides fresh insights on plain body weight training. It opens new potentials of what anyone could achieve without using any complicated equipment and costly gym membership. Dan’s only requirements are the following: something to step up on, something to hang from, and one that’s readily available, something heavy, which, if you still don’t recognize yet, is our own body.
Danny Kavadlo reminds us that our body is a workout equipment if we know how to use it and how to keep it running. He stresses the importance of natural food over artificial supplements that one I have eliminated sooner (whey protein) and the other I have never bought (creatine). I used to take whey protein regularly but budget and having egg and chicken breast fillet as alternatives—not to mention good sources of natural protein—made me stop buying another 2.2 lbs more of my then favorite workout shake. As Danny says, “Eat muscle to build muscle.” That’s chicken and beef meat. Plain and simple.
There are more things to like about Strength Rules. Danny Kavadlo does not have sets of exercises that he wants to be followed by the number. In fact, he encourages his readers to perform whatever is possible at the moment. He does not believe that a strict routine should be adhered to for one to attain his or her personal fitness goals.
This book is also ideal for those who are tired of fad diets that were neither sustainable nor practical for most. His take on this? ”Should you have three big meals a day or six small ones? Who cares? Eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full. Don’t overthink.” Again, natural foods such as apples and banana only please, so forget about that tempting granola or protein bar as these are not only expensive but full of sugar as well that could negate all the efforts we make to trim down and stay healthy.
Strength Rules is available on Amazon and costs about P400 which I consider a worthy expense. The book has 2100 plus locations with pictures and illustrations that improve comprehension of the variety of exercises that revolve around the basic squat, push, and pull.
Until when I would have my layoff from the gym workout I really can’t tell. Whether it will be temporary or not, remains to be seen as I am looking forward to test myself against plain body weight training. My routine in the next months would change but the main goal why I wake up to go to the gym stays the same: be fit for Marcus, be the muscle for him. Wish me luck.
He wants to see the gym so we dropped by right after his class. Taken a month before he finally said he can’t go to school anymore.
***
The gym will be one of the very few places I will miss in Dasma.
***
Mood: 3/10 Honks! (We’ll have Marcus visit a manghihilot later.)
At a very young age, kids start to feel and experience a lot of emotions, anger included. When present within their environment, anger could be absorbed by their very innocent minds and it starts to build up ready to be expressed when the right time comes. This we learned recently.
Days after our car got rear-ended by a motorcycle, Marcus asked his mother, “Mommy, why does daddy get angry when driving?” I didn’t ask my wife whether our son used the adverb ‘sometimes’ or ‘always’ to describe the frequency but the news struck me—and I seem to know the answer anyway. Marcus who has been allowed in the front passenger seat since he turned seven was not only there to enjoy the view but was after all observing my emotions as well. Driving must be making people angry so for this same reason he does not want to drive in the future anymore.
I have not offered an explanation to our son since I heard about his observation and conclusion regarding my bad driving habits. However, I all of a sudden have a late New Year resolution declared that I should start changing how I drive—at the very least, when he is around—so I could convince him that driving could be a pleasant experience. If he could actually drive soon is another matter.
“Daddy, I won’t be able to drive,” I heard him when I allowed him one day to sit on his own in the driver seat while parked. “I still have short legs, can’t reach the pedals yet,” he added. I smiled and said, “Not now, but soon.” I was suppressing sadness, I was telling him a lie.
Driving will be the least of his worries when Marcus gets older. His dystrophy is taking its toll on his mobility and what was once a simple task of standing and staying still is presently becoming more of a challenge. I can see his frustrations often. Last night, I heard his sentiment myself.
“I am angry at God.” A statement he once told his mother, he said it again immediately after we had our regular night prayer. Like a shot of espresso, such short yet strong statement got me back on my senses away from a progressing sleepy state. Time seems to go slow as my mind processes what it heard while at the same tries to recall every plausible explanation it could get from what I learned in Catholic school and from the homilies in the masses I have attended. How on earth am I going to explain and defend God to this child who regularly prays before he goes to bed?
Well, my wife and I had something. That God has plans for everyone and everything happens for a reason. That to feel angry at his present condition is perfectly normal but he must understand and keep his faith that God does look after him. It sounds cliché but it was the most rational we can muster at that very moment. We hope that as Marcus grows up and continues to have more questions in life we also strengthen our faith so that we will have better and convincing answers. Answers that are real, answers that we know aren’t lies.
***
No pictures for now, will not waste time waiting for Photobucket to load. We’re getting a passport of Marcus.
Marcus Can Blog 