Ideas from Sleep Deprivation

I have been deprived of sleep lately and the place I am supposed to catch up on it doesn’t live up to my expectations. And so to make sleeping quarters a more conducive place I call upon the geniuses of this world to invent these things:

Silent plastic bags. The call to recycle has its own drawback as people reuse plastic bags not just for groceries or shopping but also to store personal stuffs and among the things that annoy me is the ruckus a plastic bag creates when someone opens and searches something in it while inside the dim sleeping quarters. Every time it happens I begin to have nightmares even before I hit REM. (I am sure moviegoers will love this as well.)

Zip-free zippers. I know that it is an onomatopoeia of the sound it makes whenever it is closed or opened but I guess it is high time that manufacturers, like the famous and enduring YKK, make one that is zip-free. But for now, the closest thing I can do is suggest to ban people from opening and closing their gym bags while inside the sleeping area or resort to the costly approach of finding and distributing a copy of little Ms. Manners for Dummies book.

Glow-in-the-dark socks. There’s nothing more frustrating than spending precious time figuring out where that certain stink is coming from. A pair of socks therefore that would glow in the dark if it detects some fungal activity would at least warn others to pick a better sleeping spot.

Anti-snore spray. Nope, this isn’t one in the market that a person buys to cure his(her) own s leeping disorder. What I want is something like a pepper spray — yes, one that can be discreetly aimed and sprayed from a distance to someone who is snoring. A mounted laser aiming device would be a plus.

Slow door closers and fixtures. Shh. I am aware that these exist but one company seems not to know yet. Again, shhh.

***
I drafted this post using my myphone with alphanumeric keypads. One that produces a crisp sound. Annoying sound. While inside the sleeping quarters. So I guess, I have gotten even then. Ti abi.

***

Mood: 2/10 Honks! (Past 1 in the morning. Marcus and I still awake.)

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Author: crisn

I'm Cris Nacionales from the Philippines.

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