Writer’s Block Hits

The most feared writer’s block hits me. I’m beating all the odds just to make time to write and it’s also as if I’ve got all the reasons not being able to come up with a regular post.

For one, there’s the baby who has gotten most of our attention, not to mention suck out our energies. There’s also the mysterious hectic schedule at work—despite the economic slowdown, decrease in demand, people separation, and the upcoming shutdown—that continues to take a large chunk of my time. Lastly, there are also several parties to attend to and the booze that goes with each of it dilutes every blogging ideas and replaces it with a bad hangover.

The irony is that while most of these reasons are sources of overwhelming ideas to write about, everything ends up with a mind full of bright light bulb moments yet none ever gets published. It’s like an intersection of late employees eagerly wanting to drive through it and in the process collide with each other thereby causing a more chaotic and hopeless traffic jam.

But tonight, our baby who has become more energetic and more entertaining with each passing day somehow runs out of steam. It must be the cold December breeze outside or it may be because of the hot bath I gave him. No matter what made him hit the sack early, this is opportunity to write. I’m so desperate to purge those ideas that have been raring to get out of my nutshell.

Writer’s block reminds me of two people. One is Jim Paredes who in his article in the Sunday (Dec. 7, 2008) edition of the Philippine Star wrote Why I Write (also appears on his blog). Another is Saedel Pensoy who I incidentally happen to know after reading his comment on one of Jim Paredes’ blog.

In his article Jim said, ”But sometimes, “constipation” traps the thoughts, feelings and words in the deep bowels of the mind. The more one tries to write, the harder it seems to produce output. And that can be worrisome when one has a weekly deadline…” Then he added, ”And yet, one must write, not because of a deadline or the pay, and not because, like the analogy of the toilet ritual, it can be toxic to keep it all inside. I write because I am one of those cursed people who have been awakened to writing and have been enlisted to do so…

These are my exact sentiments, Jim just had it in writing. Mine became a bad case of writer’s constipation—for the lack of a better word.

Unfortunately, Jim’s recovery didn’t infect Saedel. Just like me, I find Saedel a writer and blogger in progress. When I learned about his site, I kept on coming back to read his posts. And from it I saw how he has improved a lot in almost every aspect of writing. At some point he even decided to monetize his blog and everything went spontaneous from then on. Not until he wrote 10 Drafts and a Focus. When I read it I knew he’s having the most hated writer’s block.  And like helplessly watching a friend die, I soon witnessed its last entry. Currently, the site has become an attraction for spam commenters. I can’t help but hope that he has moved to another blog provider and continued what he does best.


Time really flies so fast when I’m in front of the PC. I checked and I’ve been here thinking and typing for a couple of hours already. HBO’s rerun of Mr. Bean’s Holiday has ended and another movie is almost halfway through. My second shot of my night cap has evaporated. Good thing that our baby boy is still sleeping. Tomorrow is the start of our two-week vacation and if time permits, I’d sure be glad to blog some more. Maybe.

Marcus peeks
I’ll be right here when you’re done…”


Mood: 5/10 Honks!

Home Alone with the Baby

“A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.” -Marvin Kitman, author and media critic (b. 1929)


Today is my first time to be left alone with someone so little yet so handful to be with. I had to skip work just to see and feel how well I’ll do with this tiny living gift. It’s also my way of checking if the baby routines systematically listed by my wife on the cork board would work out fine if followed to the dot by our neighbor whom we asked to babysit while we’re out.

The drowsiness and a bit of headache didn’t keep my enthusiasm to face the day. It’s going to be more than 12 hours ahead with just me and him. The moment my wife closed the gate and headed for work, I was mentally conditioning myself and was trying if I can remember the routines even if I’m not looking at it. There’s breakfast, vitamin and supplement intake, bath time, playtime, and lunch for the first half. The second half shows two more play times separated by two other routines. Wow! Isn’t that overwhelming enough for someone who’ll be left alone with such demanding baby?

Twelve hours later that seem to me like months in the gym–at least there you don’t wipe someone else’s poop–I didn’t realize that I performed everything as listed. Right after I set the innocent and handsome looking small guy in his colorful crib, with his eyes beginning to show his sleepiness, I was so ecstatic that I feel like calling a celebration. However, I can’t shout for joy as I’m so sure it will be like waking a sleeping little giant who’d be so eager to get out of his sleeping pen once again to play like there’s no tomorrow.

jollibee pic
A dad’s mandatory and embarrassing picture with the Jollibee mascot. Taken in SM Bacolod.


Mood: 2/10 Honks!

We Are Now Parents

baby blogger
Baby blogger

It’s been a week already since we welcomed a third member at home. He’s the reason every routine changed completely. On his very first day at home I realized soon enough that despite the long preparation—mind setting, shopping of baby stuffs, reading of articles about having a baby, and other things we did to prepare for such day—we still seem to be overwhelmed by the mere presence of a little boy.

This little boy whom we’ve anticipated–like normal parents would–since early this year has taken charge of our lives. Now our sleeping and waking hours depended on his. My brewed coffee turned cold. Other meals have been skipped. AXN has been traded with Cartoon Network. Mythbusters was crushed by Dora. We’re now out of our comfort zone but we’re not complaining because we’re now officially parents.

One of the things I missed is having the time to blog. There’s no more time to kill. Like now, kid’s now watching TV and sooner will be begging to have his bath and I’d have to cut this entry short. So to end this post, I will leave a touching poem (by an unknown adoptive parent) which was shown to us on the first seminar we attended when we decided to have an adoption:

Once there were two women who never knew each other One you do not remember, the other you call your mother.

Two different lives shaped to make yours one One become your guiding star the other your sun.

The first gave you life the second taught you to live it

The first gave you need for love the second was there to give it.

One gave you nationality the other gave you a name

One gave you the seed of talent the other gave you an aim.

One gave you up – – it was all she could do

The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.

And more you ask me through your tears, The age old question through the years.

Heredity or Environment, which are you the product of? Neither my darling – – neither. Just two different kinds of love.


Mood: 2/10 Honks!


November So Far

The 11th month which happens to be our birth month seems to be totally ours. Although it has not yet reached even its middle part, everything that has occurred after 11 days is like life itself compressed in two weeks. There was confusion, anxiety, boring times, and of course, funny and exciting moments as well.

As previously posted, November 1 was better than compared to last year’s. The days that followed have been spent waiting for results, results that would dictate how 2009 would be for us. And yes that’s right, this month I’m thinking that this may be the conclusion of our 2008 already.

I’m very excited to share the details but unfortunately there are reasons (one is time) as well that hold me back from doing so. Instead, I’ll just be brief about what has happened so far: Yesterday, I’m resetting my countdown to bumhood; And tomorrow, we’ll have one that will complete our family. Needless to say, both of these are blessings that I can never thank enough.

For now, I’m just feeling lucky even if the news coming from our TV is just as bleak as the weather outside.


Mood: 2/10 Honks!


A Week of Interviews (Part 2)

The second interview we had last week is far more serious than the first because what is at stake here is someone else’s life being entrusted to us we if pass it. It’s actually the 2nd one for this process as the 1st one was done at home. This time we were in an adoption foundation somewhere in Cubao.

Early this year I approved the long standing wish of wifey to adopt a child. I can still recall the time and place when I finally told her about it. We were having dinner in Aling Tonya’s in SM by the Bay when I saw one family with small kids passing by. I guess something in me snapped when I felt like we need another one to tag along with us just like complete families do. That night, the image of the kid holding his father’s hand while they merrily chat held on to my brain like stubborn road tar. And that was it; I had to admit then that we lack at least one member. We need a child.

Since then, my wife had been busy searching thru the internet regarding adoption, child care, etc. I myself did some searching especially on the inevitable potty training thing.  This I guess is the one thing that I might need some time to getting used to with our future kid. Other things related to raising a child, I’m now prepared to do it. At least I think so.

During the interview, we were asked to answer a couple of questions from the forms and a couple of which got me to reflect for a moment.

  1. Names of people who influenced you? Frankly, I can’t seem to figure out who did.
  2. Three (3) things you fear the most? Undoubtedly, I wrote lightning as one.
  3. I will love my wife more if…? I answered: if she cooks breakfast without being told and if she drives the car Because other than these, I love her as she is.
  4. What are the adjustments you’ll make when you receive the baby? I wrote a phrase or two, but for sure that will be a lot…and I’m excited about it.

After being inside the interview room for at least 3 hours, we finally finished filling in the questionnaires with my mind wondering if the social worker was also taking notes of every gestures and comments we made. Hopefully, we did well as our answers will be used to match the child for us. If my jokes and other comic remarks were noted, I might as well expect a baby with red-round make-up on his cheeks. Seriously, as long as he’s healthy, I’m accepting it.


Taco Bell

Coming out of the foundation more than half an hour past lunch time, we headed to the nearby The Gateway mall and treat ourselves in Taco Bell’s. That lunch for me was more than just a treat, as it brought back memories of my US trip back in ‘05. The tacos smelled and tasted just like they did abroad. I just hope that wifey will soon have the opportunity to agree with me.


Red right hand

Tooth Fairy
Definitely not from your mom’s fairy tale bedtime stories

Soon after, and as if having an itinerary for every interview day, we were again headed to the cinema. Both of us easily pick Hellboy II: The Golden Army over other films. This would be our first time to watch a movie in this mall. The cinema is fully carpeted with a wide end row and tapering towards the wide-screen. Air-conditioning is just right and its soft cushion seats added a great viewing experience for one great movie such as Hellboy.

What I find fascinating about this sequel is the fact that it got better than the first one. The creature characters were surprisingly well detailed that although the diversity of the aliens reminds me of Star Wars Episode III, the creatures in Hellboy are as unique as the main stars of this film. Even the villains were convincingly portrayed. And as much as they appear mean and scary, I think the tiny evil tooth fairies deserve a movie of their own. Oh, by the way, Hellboy and Liz are having their own kid. Coincidence?

And there goes another busy week for both of us. It may even become busier until the end of this year if our baby arrives by October. I’m not so fully sure yet if I’d be busy at work as well. This I’ll know in a couple of weeks.